Catfish Recap: To Skype a Stripper

Hello beloved readers!  I am so excited to discover that I am not the only one glued to this crazy show!  LOVED reading all of your opinions on it and catfish stories of your own!  We should put Nev out of business and make our own TV show, right?  At least we’d have some human reactions.

So tonight we join Nev sifting through his emails deciding who he’s going to help next.  He chooses a girl named Shawnise from Maryland.  Well, her name is Shawnise but she wants everyone to call her Trina the Natural.  She explains that she has a barbie doll body but that it’s all real, so she prefers this three-word title.  I’m not sure how I feel about titles including the word “the.”  Wait, yes I am.  It’s stupid.  Henry the 8th, Atilla the Hun, Robert the Bruce, Jabba the Hutt.  Trina the Natural?  Whatever.  Trina the Natural has fallen in love online with a guy named Lee.  But most people know him as Scorpio.  I’d say that’s sketchy, but she has an alternate name too, so we’ll see.  They are both exotic dancers (strippers) so they’ve bonded over that.  But Scorpio lives in Atlanta, Georgia and claims to be bad with technology and therefore unable to skype.  Ok, NOW I’ll say that’s sketchy. 

Nev skypes Shawnise, who right away insists upon being addressed by her complete three-word title.

"If you want me on your show, you'll use my FULL name."

Then she explains that as a stripper, she is constantly being judged by men and has not been able to find true love... until meeting Scorpio on MySpace.  This IS true love because he understands what it is like to be a stripper and also treats her like a lady.  But she’d like to actually meet him now that they’ve been talking for a year.  She does find it slightly odd that he won’t skype with her.  Nev’s mission is clear.  Off to Maryland!

"This is a job for the Friendship Patrol!"

When they arrive at Trina’s apartment, she’s actually super cute, but DOES SHE KNOW IT!  Her mom lives there too and she comes out to say that Trina will make someone a really good wife.  I’m guessing she’ll want to stop stripping when that happens, but who knows?  Trina tearily explains that her dad died when she was only two so she’s been looking for a father figure, but the men she meets at the strip club just don’t don’t view her with any serious potential.  I totally can’t figure out why.  Enter Scorpio.  Respectful, understanding, non-judgmental, technologically challenged Scorpio.  He can’t skype, but he can send her exactly three professional modeling photos of himself!

"Two more where this came from, baby."

Nev asks if Scorpio has ever sent Trina a more casual photo, like with his friends, or you know, wearing clothes.  Trina thinks for a second and realizes that no, no he has not.  And here she’s sent him dozens of pictures of herself.  Max asks if Trina has ever asked Scorpio to take a picture of himself holding up her name.  WHAT?  Okay, I see what he’s getting at, but what normal human asks that?  It’s like a proof of life photo.  Is this what we’ve come to?  I guess when someone dodges skype for a year, yes.  

Well, Nev and Max have heard enough and it’s time to retire to the hotel to discuss questions and Google this guy.  They do this thing where they can take Scorpio’s image and search it, which brings up his MySpace page.  Are people still on MySpace?

These people are.

There are the pictures that Trina had received and the guys are trying to find out if they can verify that his name is Lee Avent.  They find a MySpace blog entry from 2007 where Scorpio has signed off as Larry Drummer.  Wait.  Didn’t Trina meet him on MySpace?  Did she just not notice his blog?  I mean, it appears that we are seeing the same MySpace page Trina saw.  And the blog entry has been there since 2007.  I guess she wasn’t too curious about what Scorpio had on his mind.  Which is kind of judgmental of her.  I mean, just because he’s a stripper doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings. 

The guys Google Lee Avent and the only thing that comes up is the Facebook page of some 80-year-old white guy.  So they Google Larry Drummer and he has an entire Facebook page with lots of personal snapshots on full display.  (Doesn’t anyone set their profiles to private?)  SO!  Either Trina has been talking to Scorpio Larry Drummer and he has said his name is Lee in order to keep something secret (wife, girlfriend), OR Lee Avent is someone else completely and just using Scorpio’s photos.  Which do you think?

Let’s ask Trina!  Much like Sunny from last week, Trina is currently shopping with a couple of her friends.  Nev wants to know what the friends think and of course, they think it’s strange that Scorpio never has time to see Trina.  And Trina is all aflutter over this guy none of them have met.

"He told her his webcam AND his car are broken..."

One of the friends asks Trina if Scorpio has any kids and she reluctantly admits that he has two.  Nev is aghast that Trina withheld this information yesterday.  Trina’s friends wish her well and leave her with Nev to discuss the results of the almighty Google.  As Nev walks her through the Google search, telling her about Larry Drummer, Trina starts to cry.  See?  That’s what a normal person would do.  Hope is not completely lost, but things are looking doubtful.  Trina says she wants Nev to find him so they can talk to him in person as quickly as possible.

"Maybe Larry is his identical twin.  Cause Lee has trouble with technology..."

Nev goes back to the hotel without Trina and calls Lee.  Lee doesn’t sound suspiciously childlike, but he immediately tells Nev that he actually has FOUR children and has recently moved from Atlanta into the Washington DC area (right where Trina lives).  Don’t you think it’s odd that Lee wouldn’t tell Trina the truth about his kids after a YEAR but the minute some guy named Nev calls everything is laid on the table?  I’m telling you, this is not the surprise we are being led to believe it is.  “Sure, you can come meet me in person, and while we’re at it, let me come clean about all of my stories... whoever you are!”  I think not.  Nev says that Trina never told him that Lee was living so close and Lee goes, “I thought I mentioned it to her.”  HA HA HA!  Yes, this woman who is beside herself to meet you couldn’t manage to remember that you recently moved into her neighborhood. Unfortunately Lee is going out of town this weekend (as he seems to most weekends), but Nev points out that they are only minutes away and that Lee kind of owes it to Trina to look her in the eye.  Lee says he doesn’t want to lose Trina, so okay.  They can come over.

Back to Trina’s!  Nev tells her about the four kids and that it’s not likely that Trina’s been talking to the guy in the pictures.  But the good news is that this guy - this guy she LOVES, Nev is careful to point out - lives right here in DC and they can go meet him!  Trina hesitates but decides to go.  Oh hooray, Nev can be the catalyst in another beautiful (fraudulent) friendship!

The next day Trina puts on her straight hair, a tight bright dress, and announces that this is Lee’s chance to win her over.  They drive practically just around the block and pull into Lee’s driveway.  Geez, Lee could have been hopping over to Trina’s every night with binoculars, who knows?  Trina whispers that she hopes he’s good looking, ha ha ha ha ha.  Don’t judge, Trina.  Nev approaches the door himself while Trina hangs back with Max and Lee finally comes out.  It’s not Scorpio, but we knew that.  Trina goes, “Scorpio?” and Lee goes, “Uh yeah.”  She says, “So everything was a lie?”  To which Lee swears that no, only the pictures were a lie.  Everything else was true.  What about your four kids?  Oh and that.  That’s it.  Oh and he’s not a male dancer.  Nev asks how old he is.  Oh yeah, that.  He’s 32, not 27 like he said.  THAT’S it. No more lies.

"And this isn't really my house.  And my name isn't Lee.  And I DO know how to skype.  And I'm married."

So what’s up with using Scorpio’s picture?  Lee says that he runs a little company where he hooks people up with acting and modeling gigs.  This guy Larry Drummer came to him and asked him to create a profile using his picture to see how women would respond - like if he had the right look.  Ahem.  What now?  Is that how actors are starting out these days?  Asking strangers to create false profiles to see how the opposite sex responds?  I’m pretty sure Scorpio could have done that himself - and did.  Just like the majority of males in America, most of whom aren’t even actors.  Sorry Lee, but I’m chalking that up to another one of your tales.  I mean, how did it work out?  Are you Scorpio’s agent now?  Sending him on auditions are you?  Come ON.  Trina stands there shaking her head until Lee says that she’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.  Then she nods her head.  Ha ha ha.  But I like that Trina speaks up and tells Lee that she was honest with him and she feels very misled.  Lee just squirms, saying he didn’t know what to do because he didn’t want to hurt her.  Trina says it’s too late for that.  Lee asks if there’s any way he can make it up to her and Trina starts whispering, “Break... break.”  HA!  She’s funny.  Nev and Max take her aside to regroup.  She’s not sure what to do next and Nev says it’s obvious that Lee really cares about her.  Thanks, Captain Friendship.  They decide to leave so that Trina can gather her thoughts.  She gets into the car and starts crying.  Again - normal.

"At least I didn't go all the way to Atlanta to get a look at this guy."

This week’s scene is much more believable than last week’s.  The deception isn’t nearly as large, and the reaction is much larger.  Lee is an actual person who hasn’t been very straightforward, not just the creation of a troubled teen on her laptop.  And yet Trina is much more hurt than Sunny seemed to be.  She’s really disappointed. 

Nev drives Trina over to her friend’s house, reminding her all the way that it could have been much worse.  Oh Nev.  We’re not all so anxious to befriend the crazies.  Trina’s friend is all sweet, wanting to hear the whole story.  Trina lists all the ways that Lee was lying.  The age, the kids, he didn’t have a six pack, he’s not in shape, he’s not athletic at all and he’s not 6’ 1”.  I’m starting to see Trina’s priorities here.  She wonders how she never knew he was lying.  My theory is she didn’t want to know.  I think that’s the deal in most of these cases.  These people are terrified of finding out this wonderful fantasy isn’t true.  So they believe that the other person doesn’t know how to skype or is always out of town.  That way they can put off the disappointment of finding out the truth.  Her friend wonders if maybe Trina can see past his looks if she was really so into this guy.  Trina is doubtful.  But she agrees to talk to him again.

The next day Trina puts on her blonde curly hair and heads over to talk to Lee again.  She ponders on the one-of-a-kind friendship she has with Lee.  They meet at a park - neutral territory.

Trina:  "So... any chance Scorpio will be in DC anytime soon?"

They have a friendly chat about the situation and Trina asks Lee why he didn’t give her THIS version of himself.  He says he got caught up, which I’m sure is true.  But I think we can probably guess that Trina wouldn’t have paid much attention to Lee without the Scorpio pictures.  I mean, she seemed more disappointed in his HEIGHT than in the fact that he lied about his children.  I’m certainly not saying that this is Trina’s fault (entirely).  I’m just wondering if maybe she hasn’t passed up some nice guys in the past because of her appearance requirements.  Lee says he’d like another chance with Trina and she says she’s relieved to discover that his personality is genuine.  She tells him she’s still mad, so he has a lot of work to do.  But she doesn’t want to lose his friendship.  Yeah, no one wants to lose the friendship of the person who has easily lied to them about various things for an entire year.  They hug and I guess they’ve made Nev’s day because they say they’re going to be friends.  He makes them all pose for a picture. 

Our update tonight is only one month later, so really what are they going to tell us?  Well, Lee has stopped posing as Scorpio, he’s not in a relationship and he still talks to Trina a couple of times a week.  He hopes that their romance can blossom again.  Trina’s not dating anyone either, but she HAS stopped stripping.  Right.  Why now?  But she learned a lot from this experience and yadda, yadda yadda.  Time for the three-way skype with the REAL Scorpio.  When he comes onscreen Trina gets all flustered and messes with her hair.  He’s polite and flattered.

Scorpio:  "You have excellent taste, lady."

Nev asks what Scorpio’s relationship status is and he says, “Right now the sky’s the limit.” Way to dodge that question, Scorpio (the Scorpion). We are told that Scorpio and Trina (the Natural) “remain in touch” with no plans to meet.  That sounds fruitful.  And believable.

So how did you like this episode?  The reactions seemed more appropriate, but I still don’t think Lee is being very forthright about the whole situation.  His explanations were bizarre.  Think Trina has any interest in being a stepmother to four?

Thanks for reading!
-Honey Gangsta