Catfish Recap: Big Issues

Hey Everyone!  It's Monday night and the world is filled with desperate cyber lovers.  Let’s see who Nev is going to rescue from a life of solitude tonight, shall we?  He reads an email from Kim, who met her online love, Matt, in a chatroom on AOL ten years ago and they are still talking.  Ten years?  Seriously?  A faceless, bodiless voice stays interesting for TEN YEARS?  I’m pretty sure my limit on liaisons of this type back in my single years was about ten days.  If something didn’t at least attempt to materialize after that there wasn’t any point.  I guess Nev would say that makes me a bad friend.  Let’s skype with Kim and see what’s up.

"True friends wait as long as it takes."

Well, first of all she’s from a small town, which I will admit, probably limits her social options a bit.  But as per usual on this show, Matt has refused to skype or meet in person.  They only talk online or on the phone.  Kim has seen a couple of pictures on Facebook that actually look like a regular person, as opposed to the stolen pictures of an aspiring model.  But Kim is 25 now and not getting any younger.  She adores Matt’s personality and she’s been ready to meet him in person for nine and a half years.  Nev is irresistibly intrigued.  He and Max head straight to the airport.

Kim seems like an all around cute girl, but I have to say that the profile picture she has up is a tad misleading.

Right?  Just a little.

But okay, she’s the one willing to meet in person.  She tells Nev that she really loves Matt and she gets super excited anytime he calls or texts her.  When they were younger she actually thought he was the guy she would marry.  Nev can’t wait to unravel the mystery of Matt’s refusal to skype.  What could it all mean?  But first things first, let’s take a look at Kim’s Facebook profile, shall we?  She lives in Alto, Michigan, she is the manager of the Ice Cream Caboose... and wait.  What’s this?  Her status is “in a relationship.”  She tells Nev that yes, she is in a very serious relationship right now, but she still wants to meet Matt to see if she prefers him to this other guy.  And this other guy knows about Matt and “just wants Kim to be happy.”  Uh, okay.  Something isn’t quite adding up on Kim’s end.  Her boyfriend is okay with all of this?  What’s HIS deal?  But on to Matt’s Facebook page!  The pictures he has up are literally his high school pictures.

"No one will notice I'm 14 here..."

Kim says that’s Matt when she first met him, but there’s nothing current to see.  Nev is completely bewildered.  Honestly this isn’t that big of a mystery.  Matt is obviously not happy with the way he looks for some reason.  The question is whether his appearance will be a deal breaker.  I mean, has he acquired a hunchback or grown an arm out of his forehead?  Has he been badly mangled in a car accident?  Quadriplegic?  And if so, why wouldn’t he say as much?  These things would not be his own fault.  Nev suggests calling Matt here and now just to see what he says.

Kim calls and asks Matt what he’s up to and he tells her that he’s playing his XBox in his underwear.  See, now this would almost concern me more than his refusal to skype.  By all appearances it is broad daylight, and Matt is, we are told, a full grown adult man.  Why is he not at work?  Am I getting ahead of myself?  Perhaps it is Sunday morning or something.  Whatever the explanation, no one seems in the least bit concerned that this is how Matt is passing the time, so let’s move on.   Matt says something about promising Kim that they would probably someday meet... eventually... maybe.  But he loves her and they’ll talk soon.  Weird! 

Nev and Max head off to dig deeper into the mystery that is Matt using their Google sleuthing skills.  Right now the main questions seem to be:  What on earth does Matt look like?  What on earth is going on with Kim’s real life boyfriend?  And what on earth does Matt do all day?  At least those are my questions.  Everyone else only seems concerned with the first one.  Nev and Max get back onto Facebook and surprise, surprise, Matt’s profile is not set to private.  So we get to see a bunch of new pictures that Kim hasn’t seen or didn’t show us.  Most of them are closeups of his face, so there’s nothing shocking (no forehead arm).  One picture is one of those motivational posters that says “Fatherhood” on it and Matt has tagged the father in the picture as himself.  There are also pictures of a baby so the guys begin to speculate as to whether Matt has a child he’s kept secret.  Next they Google Matt’s full name and find a website with a bunch of self-produced songs by none other than Matt.  They play one that is of the rap or hip hop genre and it sounds like he’s put it together on his computer.  The songs have parental advisory warnings next to them and it sounds like he’s shouting a lot of f-bombs.  Well, I guess that’s at least time not spent playing his XBox.  Nev describes Matt’s music as angry, aggressive and derogatory - qualities Kim may not appreciate.  Next they find a profile for Matt on an online dating site which clearly states that he would like to meet women.  The guys conclude that there is much that Matt is keeping from Kim and they wonder what he is getting out of all of this.   

Time to report back to Kim and let her know what has been dug up.  She has no knowledge of any children and is not impressed with Matt’s music.  She also seems a bit put out when she sees the online dating profile.  I guess only real-life extra significant others are allowed in this e-romance.  Kim decides it’s time to tell Nev about her past.  Uh oh, there’s a story here.

Kim: "Nev, get comfortable.  This is a doozy."

Nev:  "I am here for you, my friend."

Kim had a high school sweetheart named Steve whom she dated for seven years (I guess Matt was in the online background through all of this).  Kim purchased a house for Steve and herself and they were living in it together (still talking to Matt), but it sounds like Kim was the only one working or contributing in any way to the finances.  Steve’s money all went to buy drugs.  So eventually Kim ended things.  Then one night Steve called Kim hysterically begging her to give him another chance, saying that if she didn’t, he would kill himself.  Well, Kim hung up the phone and Steve killed himself.  Really, MTV?  My Monday night trash/fluff TV really had to go there?  Not.  Cool.  And now we have to deal with this.  So Kim is really messed up.  And she dates really messed up guys.  I say SHE’S messed up because she explains that she spent two years blaming herself for what happened with Steve.  I say the guys are messed up because one killed himself, one doesn’t care that she has an e-boyfriend, and one refuses to let her see his face.  This is not a group of happy stable individuals.  (Thank goodness Nev stepped in.)  But for the two years after the suicide, Matt talked to Kim every day and listened to all of her troubles, which included gaining 125 pounds.  All right, now that everything has gotten dark and awful, let’s get this show on the road.

Nev goes back to the hotel and makes his phone call to Matt, proposing that they bring Kim to Washington to meet him.  Matt, of course, opens right up to Nev and tells him how much he loves Kim, but that he doesn’t want to ruin things by meeting her in person.  He says he doesn’t have a lot of confidence with women.  Nev explains that Kim is on the verge of getting serious with her real-life boyfriend so this could be Matt’s last chance.  Matt hems and haws, then finally agrees to meet her, asking if he can have time to clean his room first.  Okay, more alarm bells.  He doesn’t say “clean my apartment.”  He says room.

"It'll only take like two days cause I'm grounded."

I get that Kim finds him sweet and amusing, but he sounds like he’s stuck at age 15, playing his Xbox in his mom’s basement and surfing the internet for people to chat with.  How is this alluring?  And shall we address the issue of ruining a relationship by meeting someone in person?  It’s like Matt is thinking that Kim will love him as long as she doesn’t really KNOW him.  Like if she knows the real him, or knows too much, she won’t love him anymore.  That isn’t love.  One of the greatest things about love is knowing that someone knows everything about you and still loves you.  Everyone has crap.  No one is perfect.  Love isn’t hiding the flaws - it’s loving around and through the flaws.  Which means you have to be real with each other.  Which, I guess, is one of the huge topics this show is addressing.  How possible IS strictly digital love?  So far, it’s not.

So anyway, our team picks Kim up and they all fly to Vancouver, Washington and the next morning they drive over to Matt’s apartment.  When they arrive they all just get out of the car and wait.  Pretty soon Matt comes out and comes down some stairs to meet them.  Well, there it is.  He’s quite large.  But I mean, he makes it down the stairs with no trouble, so it’s not like he’s immobile.

And black is very slimming.

He and Kim have an awkward hug then everyone heads inside.  Matt explains that his weight was the only thing keeping him from meeting Kim.  He doesn’t have kids or any other big secrets to share.  He says that at his heaviest he weighed 619 pounds.  Whoa!  That’s not just a weight problem, that’s like a TLC special.  Or series.  He says that he actually WAS practically immobile.  But he’s been working on it and has lost about 65 pounds.  He didn’t want to meet Kim until he’d made more progress, but since he’s addressing the things he doesn’t like about his life, he figured it was time to meet.  I have to say he’s quite spry for weighing over 500 pounds.  He practically skipped down those stairs.

Kim is clearly disappointed, but she tries to stay upbeat, saying she’s glad he’s sticking to something that will make him happy.

"I think it's fantastic that you're so motivated!!!"

She tells him that it was crucial for them to meet because she’s trying to decide if she should marry her current boyfriend and she wanted to make sure she wasn’t missing anything.  Yeah, that’s not good from any direction.  Why would you consider marrying someone if you have to “make sure” about someone else first?  Why would you want to marry a girl who had to meet another guy before she could give you an answer?  And finally, how would it feel to be the guy being looked over to see if you’re good enough to chuck the wedding for?  

Later, Nev is driving Kim around asking her what her gut is telling her.  She says she just doesn’t know yet.  Nev brings up Steve, saying Kim has known true love before.  Oh yes, Steve, the drug addict who was mooching off of her and who traumatized her permanently.  Can she ever find such love again?  Kim says there’s just no comparison with either of the guys in her life now.  Steve is a very tough act to follow. Nev and Max tell Kim not to settle.  Hold out for Steve 2.  Aim high, Kim.  Reach for those stars.

Today we’re going to meet Matt’s family, who it looks like live in the same apartment with Matt - so Matt still lives at home.  This would be his mom, sister and dog.  Matt’s mom loves Kim, tells her how pretty she is and how much Matt loves her.  Nev sits with Matt and discusses his new motivation and outlook on life.  Matt says there were times he thought about killing himself because of his weight.  Wow, another suicide?  He almost reached immortalized Steve status.  Are you sensing a pattern in the type of men Kim is drawn to?  But Matt is much happier now that he’s taking control of his life back.

"My five year plan includes moving out.  Maybe."

   
Finally Matt sits with Kim and tells her that he’s in love with her and always wants her in his life.  He wants her to consider him when she goes home, and he’s glad they met.  Kim cries that she doesn’t know what she wants and that she still struggles with her feelings about Steve.  It’s funny how the more disappointed she is with Matt, the more Steve comes into the equation. She’s pretty sure that she wants to be on her own for a while (ssshhhhocking!).  So she’s going to break up with real-life boyfriend and stay friends with Matt the way they’ve always been.  Well, it was nice meeting you, Matt!

"Please release me."

Nev does his one-month follow up and Matt has gotten himself a haircut.  And dog tags.

"My hair was weighing me down."

We learn that he still exercises daily and has lost another 30 pounds.  As for Kim, she did kick her boyfriend to the curb (is he on suicide watch?) and she and Matt are back to the status quo - talking every day and wondering if they’ll ever meet up.  And they’re best friends.  We get a caption that says Kim is finally dealing with the loss of Steve.  I’m not sure what that means, but okay.  It says she’s not ready for a new romance yet. (Even though she was before Matt came down those stairs.)

Whew!  This episode dealt with some weighty topics, pardon the pun.  I’m not sure how I feel about Kim.  She was completely ready to ditch her boyfriend to be with Matt until she saw how he looked.  And Kim was not exactly a waif herself.  But 619 pounds isn’t just a vanity thing; it’s scary.  I guess it’s good that at least they’re staying friends.  Maybe Matt will get a job.  I don’t know, what did you guys think?

Thanks for reading!
-Honey Gangsta

Catfish Recap: To Skype a Stripper

Hello beloved readers!  I am so excited to discover that I am not the only one glued to this crazy show!  LOVED reading all of your opinions on it and catfish stories of your own!  We should put Nev out of business and make our own TV show, right?  At least we’d have some human reactions.

So tonight we join Nev sifting through his emails deciding who he’s going to help next.  He chooses a girl named Shawnise from Maryland.  Well, her name is Shawnise but she wants everyone to call her Trina the Natural.  She explains that she has a barbie doll body but that it’s all real, so she prefers this three-word title.  I’m not sure how I feel about titles including the word “the.”  Wait, yes I am.  It’s stupid.  Henry the 8th, Atilla the Hun, Robert the Bruce, Jabba the Hutt.  Trina the Natural?  Whatever.  Trina the Natural has fallen in love online with a guy named Lee.  But most people know him as Scorpio.  I’d say that’s sketchy, but she has an alternate name too, so we’ll see.  They are both exotic dancers (strippers) so they’ve bonded over that.  But Scorpio lives in Atlanta, Georgia and claims to be bad with technology and therefore unable to skype.  Ok, NOW I’ll say that’s sketchy. 

Nev skypes Shawnise, who right away insists upon being addressed by her complete three-word title.

"If you want me on your show, you'll use my FULL name."

Then she explains that as a stripper, she is constantly being judged by men and has not been able to find true love... until meeting Scorpio on MySpace.  This IS true love because he understands what it is like to be a stripper and also treats her like a lady.  But she’d like to actually meet him now that they’ve been talking for a year.  She does find it slightly odd that he won’t skype with her.  Nev’s mission is clear.  Off to Maryland!

"This is a job for the Friendship Patrol!"

When they arrive at Trina’s apartment, she’s actually super cute, but DOES SHE KNOW IT!  Her mom lives there too and she comes out to say that Trina will make someone a really good wife.  I’m guessing she’ll want to stop stripping when that happens, but who knows?  Trina tearily explains that her dad died when she was only two so she’s been looking for a father figure, but the men she meets at the strip club just don’t don’t view her with any serious potential.  I totally can’t figure out why.  Enter Scorpio.  Respectful, understanding, non-judgmental, technologically challenged Scorpio.  He can’t skype, but he can send her exactly three professional modeling photos of himself!

"Two more where this came from, baby."

Nev asks if Scorpio has ever sent Trina a more casual photo, like with his friends, or you know, wearing clothes.  Trina thinks for a second and realizes that no, no he has not.  And here she’s sent him dozens of pictures of herself.  Max asks if Trina has ever asked Scorpio to take a picture of himself holding up her name.  WHAT?  Okay, I see what he’s getting at, but what normal human asks that?  It’s like a proof of life photo.  Is this what we’ve come to?  I guess when someone dodges skype for a year, yes.  

Well, Nev and Max have heard enough and it’s time to retire to the hotel to discuss questions and Google this guy.  They do this thing where they can take Scorpio’s image and search it, which brings up his MySpace page.  Are people still on MySpace?

These people are.

There are the pictures that Trina had received and the guys are trying to find out if they can verify that his name is Lee Avent.  They find a MySpace blog entry from 2007 where Scorpio has signed off as Larry Drummer.  Wait.  Didn’t Trina meet him on MySpace?  Did she just not notice his blog?  I mean, it appears that we are seeing the same MySpace page Trina saw.  And the blog entry has been there since 2007.  I guess she wasn’t too curious about what Scorpio had on his mind.  Which is kind of judgmental of her.  I mean, just because he’s a stripper doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings. 

The guys Google Lee Avent and the only thing that comes up is the Facebook page of some 80-year-old white guy.  So they Google Larry Drummer and he has an entire Facebook page with lots of personal snapshots on full display.  (Doesn’t anyone set their profiles to private?)  SO!  Either Trina has been talking to Scorpio Larry Drummer and he has said his name is Lee in order to keep something secret (wife, girlfriend), OR Lee Avent is someone else completely and just using Scorpio’s photos.  Which do you think?

Let’s ask Trina!  Much like Sunny from last week, Trina is currently shopping with a couple of her friends.  Nev wants to know what the friends think and of course, they think it’s strange that Scorpio never has time to see Trina.  And Trina is all aflutter over this guy none of them have met.

"He told her his webcam AND his car are broken..."

One of the friends asks Trina if Scorpio has any kids and she reluctantly admits that he has two.  Nev is aghast that Trina withheld this information yesterday.  Trina’s friends wish her well and leave her with Nev to discuss the results of the almighty Google.  As Nev walks her through the Google search, telling her about Larry Drummer, Trina starts to cry.  See?  That’s what a normal person would do.  Hope is not completely lost, but things are looking doubtful.  Trina says she wants Nev to find him so they can talk to him in person as quickly as possible.

"Maybe Larry is his identical twin.  Cause Lee has trouble with technology..."

Nev goes back to the hotel without Trina and calls Lee.  Lee doesn’t sound suspiciously childlike, but he immediately tells Nev that he actually has FOUR children and has recently moved from Atlanta into the Washington DC area (right where Trina lives).  Don’t you think it’s odd that Lee wouldn’t tell Trina the truth about his kids after a YEAR but the minute some guy named Nev calls everything is laid on the table?  I’m telling you, this is not the surprise we are being led to believe it is.  “Sure, you can come meet me in person, and while we’re at it, let me come clean about all of my stories... whoever you are!”  I think not.  Nev says that Trina never told him that Lee was living so close and Lee goes, “I thought I mentioned it to her.”  HA HA HA!  Yes, this woman who is beside herself to meet you couldn’t manage to remember that you recently moved into her neighborhood. Unfortunately Lee is going out of town this weekend (as he seems to most weekends), but Nev points out that they are only minutes away and that Lee kind of owes it to Trina to look her in the eye.  Lee says he doesn’t want to lose Trina, so okay.  They can come over.

Back to Trina’s!  Nev tells her about the four kids and that it’s not likely that Trina’s been talking to the guy in the pictures.  But the good news is that this guy - this guy she LOVES, Nev is careful to point out - lives right here in DC and they can go meet him!  Trina hesitates but decides to go.  Oh hooray, Nev can be the catalyst in another beautiful (fraudulent) friendship!

The next day Trina puts on her straight hair, a tight bright dress, and announces that this is Lee’s chance to win her over.  They drive practically just around the block and pull into Lee’s driveway.  Geez, Lee could have been hopping over to Trina’s every night with binoculars, who knows?  Trina whispers that she hopes he’s good looking, ha ha ha ha ha.  Don’t judge, Trina.  Nev approaches the door himself while Trina hangs back with Max and Lee finally comes out.  It’s not Scorpio, but we knew that.  Trina goes, “Scorpio?” and Lee goes, “Uh yeah.”  She says, “So everything was a lie?”  To which Lee swears that no, only the pictures were a lie.  Everything else was true.  What about your four kids?  Oh and that.  That’s it.  Oh and he’s not a male dancer.  Nev asks how old he is.  Oh yeah, that.  He’s 32, not 27 like he said.  THAT’S it. No more lies.

"And this isn't really my house.  And my name isn't Lee.  And I DO know how to skype.  And I'm married."

So what’s up with using Scorpio’s picture?  Lee says that he runs a little company where he hooks people up with acting and modeling gigs.  This guy Larry Drummer came to him and asked him to create a profile using his picture to see how women would respond - like if he had the right look.  Ahem.  What now?  Is that how actors are starting out these days?  Asking strangers to create false profiles to see how the opposite sex responds?  I’m pretty sure Scorpio could have done that himself - and did.  Just like the majority of males in America, most of whom aren’t even actors.  Sorry Lee, but I’m chalking that up to another one of your tales.  I mean, how did it work out?  Are you Scorpio’s agent now?  Sending him on auditions are you?  Come ON.  Trina stands there shaking her head until Lee says that she’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.  Then she nods her head.  Ha ha ha.  But I like that Trina speaks up and tells Lee that she was honest with him and she feels very misled.  Lee just squirms, saying he didn’t know what to do because he didn’t want to hurt her.  Trina says it’s too late for that.  Lee asks if there’s any way he can make it up to her and Trina starts whispering, “Break... break.”  HA!  She’s funny.  Nev and Max take her aside to regroup.  She’s not sure what to do next and Nev says it’s obvious that Lee really cares about her.  Thanks, Captain Friendship.  They decide to leave so that Trina can gather her thoughts.  She gets into the car and starts crying.  Again - normal.

"At least I didn't go all the way to Atlanta to get a look at this guy."

This week’s scene is much more believable than last week’s.  The deception isn’t nearly as large, and the reaction is much larger.  Lee is an actual person who hasn’t been very straightforward, not just the creation of a troubled teen on her laptop.  And yet Trina is much more hurt than Sunny seemed to be.  She’s really disappointed. 

Nev drives Trina over to her friend’s house, reminding her all the way that it could have been much worse.  Oh Nev.  We’re not all so anxious to befriend the crazies.  Trina’s friend is all sweet, wanting to hear the whole story.  Trina lists all the ways that Lee was lying.  The age, the kids, he didn’t have a six pack, he’s not in shape, he’s not athletic at all and he’s not 6’ 1”.  I’m starting to see Trina’s priorities here.  She wonders how she never knew he was lying.  My theory is she didn’t want to know.  I think that’s the deal in most of these cases.  These people are terrified of finding out this wonderful fantasy isn’t true.  So they believe that the other person doesn’t know how to skype or is always out of town.  That way they can put off the disappointment of finding out the truth.  Her friend wonders if maybe Trina can see past his looks if she was really so into this guy.  Trina is doubtful.  But she agrees to talk to him again.

The next day Trina puts on her blonde curly hair and heads over to talk to Lee again.  She ponders on the one-of-a-kind friendship she has with Lee.  They meet at a park - neutral territory.

Trina:  "So... any chance Scorpio will be in DC anytime soon?"

They have a friendly chat about the situation and Trina asks Lee why he didn’t give her THIS version of himself.  He says he got caught up, which I’m sure is true.  But I think we can probably guess that Trina wouldn’t have paid much attention to Lee without the Scorpio pictures.  I mean, she seemed more disappointed in his HEIGHT than in the fact that he lied about his children.  I’m certainly not saying that this is Trina’s fault (entirely).  I’m just wondering if maybe she hasn’t passed up some nice guys in the past because of her appearance requirements.  Lee says he’d like another chance with Trina and she says she’s relieved to discover that his personality is genuine.  She tells him she’s still mad, so he has a lot of work to do.  But she doesn’t want to lose his friendship.  Yeah, no one wants to lose the friendship of the person who has easily lied to them about various things for an entire year.  They hug and I guess they’ve made Nev’s day because they say they’re going to be friends.  He makes them all pose for a picture. 

Our update tonight is only one month later, so really what are they going to tell us?  Well, Lee has stopped posing as Scorpio, he’s not in a relationship and he still talks to Trina a couple of times a week.  He hopes that their romance can blossom again.  Trina’s not dating anyone either, but she HAS stopped stripping.  Right.  Why now?  But she learned a lot from this experience and yadda, yadda yadda.  Time for the three-way skype with the REAL Scorpio.  When he comes onscreen Trina gets all flustered and messes with her hair.  He’s polite and flattered.

Scorpio:  "You have excellent taste, lady."

Nev asks what Scorpio’s relationship status is and he says, “Right now the sky’s the limit.” Way to dodge that question, Scorpio (the Scorpion). We are told that Scorpio and Trina (the Natural) “remain in touch” with no plans to meet.  That sounds fruitful.  And believable.

So how did you like this episode?  The reactions seemed more appropriate, but I still don’t think Lee is being very forthright about the whole situation.  His explanations were bizarre.  Think Trina has any interest in being a stepmother to four?

Thanks for reading!
-Honey Gangsta 

Catfish Recap: Oh Well, LOL!

Not to be confused with catfish: the fish.

A couple of years ago some photographers from New York made a movie about themselves called Catfish.  One of the photographers had had one of his photos published in a syndicated newspaper and an 8-year-old girl in Michigan saw his photo, painted it and sent it to him.  The photographer and the little girl struck up a friendship over e-mail, real mail and Facebook.  The photographer, named Nev (pronounced Neev), also became internet friends with the little girl’s parents and 19-year-old sister.  This sister, Megan, just happened to be Nev’s dream girl.  She was a dancer, singer, musician, veterinarian, and total hottie (who isn’t?).  Her Facebook pictures looked like a modeling portfolio.

"I took this picture after I delivered a baby calf at midnight during a tornado."

Megan and Nev talked on the phone all the time, texted, Facebooked, etc., until eventually Nev decided to meet this dream girl in person.  Well guess what.  She didn’t exist.  Turns out there WAS an 8-year-old girl, but she didn’t paint - her 40-something-year-old mother did.

"You were expecting something different?"

The mother had created an entire cast of characters on Facebook stealing pictures she found on other people’s pages.  Poor Nev was disappointed, but still excited to be friends with this crazy woman - Angela - because obviously they had a lot in common and needed each other.  Riiiiiiight.  That’s what I look for in friends.  People who deliberately deceive me for extended periods of time.  This documentary describes itself as a cautionary tale for our digital age, but also a sort of “see-past-the-surface” type of lesson.  See, Nev was still able to keep a friend out of the entire debacle since he and Angela had become so close.  What did it matter that she was twice as old as she claimed, married, and a totally different person altogether? Apparently it doesn’t matter at all.  Friendship.  Based on lies, but still, friendship.  Obviously there’s been tons of speculation as to whether this film was actually a documentary at all.  There are many arguments on both sides, and I’ve already spent many precious hours away from Pinterest reading all about it, but that’s not what’s important to us today.  The important thing is:  Nev sold out to MTV and made us a reality show!  He’s going to help other people track down their cyber lovers!  You see, Nev’s been through it.  He’s also a photographer and has friends with cameras, so the show has practically created itself.   I have a feeling that we’re going to learn a lot about being friends with everyone.  Even when they trick us on the interwebs.  Those are the people who need us the most, after all.

Oh, one last thing.  The name “Catfish,” came from a brilliant story that Angela’s oblivious husband told to Nev’s brother while Angela was upstairs with her new bff Nev talking to him in her sexy “Megan” voice and drawing a picture of him.  Clueless husband told how when cod are shipped from Asia to America they arrive all mushy due to inactivity.  So catfish are placed in the tanks with the cod because the catfish nip at the cod and chase them around, keeping them on their toes and helping them to arrive in a healthy, desirable state.  Awesome insight and perfect film metaphor from a guy who had less than zero clue what his wife had been up to for the past several months, wouldn’t you say?

So let’s get started!  Episode 1 introduces us to Sunny, a 21-year-old nursing student in Arkansas.  She’s in an online relationship with the world’s most perfect man.  The only problem is that they’ve never met.  Imagine that!  But they talk all the time and have discussed getting married and having children.  Right away Nev skypes with Sunny to find out about this guy, Jamison, that she’s in love with.

"Hopefully this 'Sunny' isn't just another one of Angela's pranks.  I love that crazy girl."

The first thing Sunny tells us is that Jamison is a model in LA.  Hold the phone.  A model in LA?  How does this not raise a red flag?  Los Angeles is a city OVERFLOWING with attractive, available people.  Why would a model have any trouble meeting girls to date live and in person?  Why would he take to the internet to find someone?  I’m not saying it would never happen, I’m just saying that would raise questions for me were I Sunny.  And while we’re on this topic, let me also say that I have NO problem with people finding each other on the internet.  I think it’s amazing that in this day and age that we have access to so many more possibilities than ever before.  It’s wonderful and I have friends who have found significant others this way.  The problem is that you have to eventually (well, as quickly as possible) bring things into the real world.  Until there is actual face-to-face time this is a fantasy relationship to a certain extent on both sides.  When long distances are involved this becomes harder, but no less necessary in my humble opinion.  So back to the show!  Sunny is desperate to meet her love in person.  They’ve ONLY talked on the phone and internet - not even with skype.  So our TV crew jumps on a plane to Arkansas to shed some light on this romance. 

We arrive at Sunny’s apartment to find wedding magazines on her coffee table.  Oh dear.  Sunny shares the story of her blossoming romance with Jamison, and I’m going to let you decide if anything at all sounds questionable in this.

"The last time we were going to meet up he couldn't because he sprained his ankle modeling.  It's always SOMETHING."

Jamison was friends first with Sunny’s sister on Facebook and that’s how Sunny met him.  He’s a full time model and is currently taking classes online to become an anesthesiologist.  Yes, an anesthesiologist.  He’s super smart, so he can get by without attending actual classes.  Plus he’s too busy with his modeling.  Also, he’s a writer for the Chelsea Lately show.  And by writer, Sunny means that he writes the cue cards.  Hmm.  Ok.  Nev asks Sunny if it doesn’t seem weird to her that Jamison would take a job writing cue cards because those jobs (really internships) pay almost nothing and he’s so busy.  Sunny says well yes, but he makes his money modeling, so...  Next Sunny expounds upon the once-in-a-lifetime connection she’s found with Jamison and how she really wants to marry him and have kids.  They have a lot in common, what with them both being in medicine and all.  Time for pictures!

"This was right before I nailed my anatomy final on my iPhone."

All on Facebook, of course, including a picture of Jamison with one of his three sisters who were all killed in a car accident. 

Nev and Max (friend and cameraman) leave Sunny to talk things over.  Max declares that Jamison’s story is full of holes, but Nev tries to stay positive, saying that there COULD be an explanation for everything.  They decide they need to look into this Jamison a little bit to find out if he’s on the up and up.  So they call a private detective and set up an elaborate plan to get into the details of Jamison’s life.  Kidding!  You know what they do?  They GOOGLE him.  It’s that hard.  Right away they find the text of an interview done with this model where he mentions his three sisters and what each of them is up to.  So his sisters are alive.

"Remember when you believed 'Megan' was a veterinarian?  This is like that!"

Next they google Chelsea Handler’s production company and call pretending to be prospective employers looking for a reference on Jamison.  The woman on the phone has never heard of him and when Nev says he writes cue cards the woman says they’ve never used cue cards on Chelsea Lately.  So far these guys have spent a total of maybe five minutes and already shot down two big things in Jamison’s story.  They decide it’s time to call the man himself, so Nev dials Jamison’s number and the voice of a 12-year-old answers.  They chat and Jamison says he’s shopping in Paris.  Geez, who will write Chelsea Handler’s cue cards tonight?  After some awkward conversation Nev tells Jamison he wants to bring Sunny to meet him and wouldn’t you know it?  Jamison is going to be home in Tuscaloosa, Alabama THIS WEEKEND to see some friends.  Perfect! 

The next day Nev catches up with Sunny and some of her friends shopping.  They all seem to have a penchant for hair bleach, tanning beds and skimpy solid-colored sundresses.  Nev tells Sunny the good news and they plan to leave that very night to meet up with Jamison the next day.  Sunny goes to the dressing room to try on another solid-colored sundress and Nev asks her friends what they think of all this.  They both say it’s weird and they hope Sunny doesn’t get her heart broken. "

Nev and Max take Sunny to a restaurant and tell her what they found out from the private investigator Google.

 Sunny:  "I don't think a medical student would lie."

Sunny tries to find explanations for the inconsistencies.  Like maybe Jamison is so overcome with grief that he just goes along and says his sisters are alive and well.  And there are so many departments at Chelsea Lately that how could anyone really know what everyone is doing?  Especially Human Resources.  Nev finally asks her why she just believes everything this guy tells her.  Sunny isn’t sure; it’s just that she never thought to question it.  Brilliant!  Sunny is sure everything will be fine and she can’t wait to meet Jamison.  I mean, he can’t fake a billboard, can he?  Apparently Jamison had a picture of himself on a billboard.  Totally impossible to fake. 

Later while Sunny rakes through her closet to find the perfect shoes to wear while meeting her future husband, her sister Summer stops by.  Summer and Sunny?  I think we’re getting an idea of the gene pool these girls are swimming in.  Remember that Summer was friends with Jamison on Facebook first, and that’s how Sunny met him.  Summer is super pissed that Sunny is off to Alabama to meet Jamison because she saw him/liked him first.  It’s not fair.  Summer tells Sunny that she makes stupid decisions and Sunny says maybe, but it’s what makes her happy.  Who can argue with this logic?  I guess sisters who are fighting over a stranger’s picture on Facebook.

Summer:  "I still can't believe you figured out my password." 
Sunny:  "MrsEphron wasn't that hard to guess."

So despite Summer’s hurt feelings, we are moving onward and upward.  To Alabama!  In the car on the way Sunny talks about how natural she and Jamison have always felt together on the internet and she’s sure it will be the same in person.

Sunny:  "Should I change into my white sundress so he'll think of a wedding?"

It looks like they let her off somewhere to put on her new sundress and fix her makeup in a public bathroom.  She tells us she’s getting really nervous.  When they finally pull up to Jamison’s house Nev asks Sunny if she wants to say a prayer or something, which cracks me up.  They approach the front door.  Sunny nervously chatters and no one answers Nev’s knock for a while.  Sunny wonders if they’re in the right place and paces up and down the driveway when finally the door opens and out walks Jamison.  Here he is:

"You were expecting something different?"

Jamison is actually Chelsea.  Not Chelsea Handler.  Chelsea seems remarkably calm and even slightly amused at this, the advent of her televised busting.  Sunny seems confused, asks if she’s being punk’d, then asks why Chelsea would pretend to be someone else.  Chelsea says that a few years ago a girl was being really mean to her on Facebook so she set up this page to get revenge.  And now it’s kind of gotten out of hand.  Many, many people think she’s this Jamison guy.  She also says she knows the real Jamison (whose name is RJ King) through his (still-living) sisters.  He’s really a model, but Sunny’s never spoken to him.  Sunny seems upset, but not super upset.  She asks several questions, but not nearly at the emotional level of someone who has just been told her near cyber-fiance is a fraud.  That’s not to say she isn’t reacting because she is.  But it’s more the level of irritation you’d have if someone took the last solid-colored sundress in your size and now you have to figure out a plan B.  Chelsea says she’s not sorry, none of it was emotional, and Sunny talked to her first, so all she really did was answer.  Chelsea stays defensive and Sunny vows revenge.  Nev watches the conversation and Max just keeps rolling tape.  Chelsea says something like, “It ends here.  This is why we’re doing this,” which leads me to believe she wasn’t surprised to find a camera crew at her door.  So this probably wasn’t a genuine sneak attack.  This suspicion of mine grows stronger as we move on.

The next scene is a conversation between Nev and Chelsea on Chelsea’s couch.  Chelsea explains how people were mean to her in high school and how she didn’t really get to participate in a lot of the things kids do in high school and all of that led her to this scheme.  Nev tells her that her “success” in these “relationships” with people online is due to the fact that she is, in fact, a good friend, but she should try just being herself.  What?  How is pretending to be a completely other person and making marriage plans being a good friend?  I don’t think it’s as simple as a pretend nice person being a genuine nice person if they’d just put up their own picture.  Elaborate, prolonged deception like this suggests a very troubled individual.  No matter how it started.  But Chelsea is encouraged by Nev’s words and agrees to apologize to Sunny and offer to be friends.

The next day Sunny has done a very good job of really getting over her lost love and is ready to have a chat with Chelsea to get some answers.  Nev decides to give the girls some time alone to talk.

Chelsea: "I lied about everything except modeling.  That part is true.  Did you see the billboard?"

Sunny:  "Oh so that really WAS you!"

Sunny wonders how Chelsea could say all these intimate things to her.  Is she a lesbian?  Chelsea semi-confesses to being bisexual.  She tells Sunny that she genuinely cares for her, but doubts that Sunny will care back.  Well duh.  Sunny was giving a much more legitimate representation of herself so Chelsea actually got to know her a bit.  Sunny got to know a phantom.  Sunny says she’s not mad anymore, just humiliated and she can’t imagine just never talking to Chelsea again after all this.  She’ll have to change the name from Jamison to Chelsea in her phone, but that shouldn’t take long.  HUH?  Um, why?  Why would you want to be friends with someone who so deliberately manipulated and abused your emotions?  I’m not buying it.  Sunny didn’t shed one tear through any of this.  They go outside, Chelsea apologizes, and she, Sunny and Nev all pose for a picture, saying “friends!”  Oh PLEASE!!

"Oh well! LOL! ;-P"

The last two minutes we get a year-later update via skype with Nev.  Chelsea has started an anti-bullying support group where she helps kids who feel like crap in high school.  That would be 95% of kids, I’m pretty sure, but okay, that’s nice.  She doesn’t do fake profiles on Facebook anymore.  She also wears makeup now and she and Sunny still talk several times a month.  Sure they do.  Sunny has a real life boyfriend now who isn’t a girl.  In fact, it sounds like she’s seen him up close at least once.  Nev does a three way skype with himself, Sunny and the REAL Jamison (RJ King) just for chuckles.  RJ seems like he’s a good sport about all of this, but why wouldn’t he be?  It got him on TV and his name and picture seen.  What more could a working model want?

So what do you guys think?  Did any of you see this movie?  The show?  Think any of it’s real?  My biggest suspicion is the totally UNDERwhelming reaction of each participant.  I would expect more from someone being exposed as a total psycho on camera, and more from someone finding out the guy she wants to marry is a teenage girl.  These are rather large, personally emotional events.  Or are we just living in the Facebook/texting age where emoticons are as worked up as we get?

Thanks for reading!

-Honey Gangsta