Wednesday, December 07, 2005

What does "Temptation" mean in British?

See these guys? They're not British!!!
(I can't find pictures of the hairy, bad teeth, British tempters.)

So I'm watching Temptation Island UK and it's quite a bit different than the American version. On the seasons we've watched and loved, the couples all seem like they have totally had it with each other and they are on this show to kind of stick it to each other, and then hopefully pull it together at the last minute. So they take advantage of the tempters and use the opportunity to show each other that they can still get other guys/girls, and that their lovers should feel lucky and appreciate them more. This all leads to the final bonfire when, after dragging it out and teasing it to death, they (usually) agree to stay together. If not, it's because they've bonded with a tempter and realized they don't have to put up with the crap of their dysfunctional relationship anymore. (Then of course in the notes following the credits, we learn that they've moved back in together.)

The Brits are quite a bit different. I get the feeling that these are perfectly happy, loving couples who have been torn apart against their will and are now trying to endure this trying couple of weeks until they can get back to their beloveds. Like tonight they did the bit where the host (British version of Marky Mark) makes each tempter choose the coupled person they like the best. So they go up one by one and announce it. Then one of them gets kicked off. So after the girls kicked off a "bloke," the host asked: Did you choose him because you are tempted by him or because you're not? The girls all said, "We are not tempted by any of them." Whaaat? They said that all of the tempters are lovely and they really like them, but they are just flat out devoted to their boyfriends. NEXT, the same thing happens with the couple guys and temptress girls. Remember in America when the temptresses would show who they preferred by shoving their girating crotch in a guy's face and then doing a body shot off his nipple? Not these British girls. They walked up very properly with their hands behind their backs and quickly announced who they preferred and why. For instance: "I fancy Damian because he's the most genuine." Then they would quickly scurry off like they were embarrassed. It's all so UNDERSTATED. There's no other way I can describe it. Another example. One of the couple blokes (Jamie) saw a video of a tempter professing how much he liked Jamie's girlfriend. Later in Jamie's confessional, he said very calmly and matter-of-factly, "It was quite provocative, really." No emotion. There's never any emotion. But the other thing is that the guys don't have egos like the American guys. They flat out tell Mickey Mick (British Marky Mark) that they really hope they can work things out with their girlfriends and that they are being faithful. They're like these tortured souls. Where is the drama? The backbiting? The cheating? The vanity? The undermining? The devastation? It's quite provocative, really!

It's still great, though. Another thing is that the level of attractiveness as compared to the American version has dropped a good four or five levels. All the way around. I could CERTAINLY pass as a British temptress. And all I'd have to do is hang out on the island and be proper! The couple guys mainly just tolerate the temptresses. It's too funny. The couple girls seem to like hanging out with the tempter guys, but all they do is whine about how much they miss their boyfriends and the tempter guys try to comfort them. Remember in America how they would couple off? And give blow jobs in the bathroom? And say vastly inappropriate things to each other over dinner? And rip off their couple necklaces and throw them away after the bonfires? Different culture, I tell you!

1 comment:

NoiXdeCoco said...

Well, according to this description, "temptation" in British means "appeal" - like Hockey appeals to me, but I wouldn't spend every Sunday in front of the TV watching it.

I'm SO BUMMED I don't have this channel, this sounds so great. I love the lenghty detailed synopsis :) You rock!