Friday, August 28, 2009

Project Runway - Tripling in Size

Behold! The mighty Heidi

Since HG is recapping Models of the Runway, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity for me to climb out of my recapping hibernation and recap Project Runway. I love Project Runway and have missed it oh so much. Not to mention my love for Michael Kors!!! And I know of at least one person who will like my Project Recaps (I'm looking at you Linda), so I won't feel alone in cyberspace talking about Project Runway all by my lonesome.

I missed a week, a possible indication that I won't be able to get through recapping the entire season, but just so we're all caught up here's what happened: there are way too many designers this cycle, they had to make a dress for the red carpet and mostly all of them failed. The winner was Christopher with this blah dress:

The disco soccer ball creation by Ari was OUT! Oh, and some guy has a meth addiction. OK, we're all caught up.

We begin this episode in the designers' apartments in Los Angeles, where they all comment on the wake-up call that was seeing someone get sent home. Well, wake-up people cause someone's getting sent home every week. And by the size of this group, I'm hoping there will be some double elimination weeks too.

Wake-up! Oh, you're gone...

Heidi prances out in her gray toned leopard print outfit to tell us about the next challenge. This week, they will create an outfit for an actual celebrity! The designers are literally shitting their pants at this news. It's a good thing they are designers and can make themselves new pants to replace their shitty pants. The 'actual celebrity' is a supermodel and a film and television star (not actress). And she has a big surprise - she's pregnant! And so this will be called the pregnancy challenge - isn't it always? It's Rebecca Romaijm Stamos - oh wait, sorry, I'm so used to that. It's Mrs. Jerry O'Connell! And she's carrying twins. Heidi tells her that 'you do look ffffffffaaaaabulous!' Elongating the f and a making me think for a split second that she's saying that 'you do look fffffaaaat.' look Hhhuuuugg..orgeous!

Hey designers - Rebecca has some good news: you get to design an outfit for her for any occasion!

I was never on Full House

The designers are greeted with a prego belly to have their waif models wear while they model the designs. This will surely double each of the models in size. Tim Gunn enters the work room and tells us that Rebecca wants an outfit that is form fitting. Why on earth? Well, who am I to know, I've never carried a child, maybe I'll want to wear form fitting clothes while creating lungs and brains in my stomach.

Hold on to the table, Model. Don't fall over.

Irina doesn't believe that there shouldn't be such a drastic gap between regular clothes and maternity clothes. Malvin talks about making a bird's nest for a dress. Ra'mon is wearing a deep V hot pink tee.


Mitchell (last week's actual fail who designed a sheet of see-through material and draped it on his model) is flirting with sheer material again! He then sews the world's largest pair of shorts.

It's day two and Tim Gun comes by the work room to mentorize. Malvin wants to give Rebecca chicken thighs by making pants with wide hips and thighs, and feathers, of course. Ra'mon is wearing a deep V tee in navy blue.


Mitchell, we learn, is kind of an a-hole and tells Ra'mon that his dress looks like a bowling ball bag. Ra'mon is devastated and has to leave the work room. Mitchell follows him expressing fake remorse for pooping all over Ra'mon's dress. My boyfriend walks by seeing this scene, and asks if these two are in love.

The models come in for their fitting and put on their pregnancy belly. As I suspected, they double in size and nearly topple over from the uneven weight distribution.

It's day three, and Ra'mon's deep V today is purple! Malvin is oozing in smugness as he uses his many clever euphemisms for being pregnant. like: "they haven't cracked the egg, so to speak" when talking about the other designer's attempts to "say something" with their designs.


And we're on the runway - where one day you're in, the next day you're out! Let's meet the judges - WAIT!! What is this? What is happening? Where is Michael Kors? My big return to recapping in years and he's off, getting a spray tan at the mall or something. Taking his place is Monique Lhuillier, who designed Britney Spear's wedding dress when she married Federline. OK, she's a worthy substitute.

Heidi comes out to welcome the designers and then she gives a stern warning to everyone that all of the judges were pregnant once! So they know what they're talking about. And let's start the show...

Here are my first impressions of the designs:
Logan - totally boring
Shirin - awesome
Nicolas - don't remember
Christopher - nice
Mitchell - dumb
Qrstál - very nice
Epperson - ohhhh, very elegant
Lousie - kiddish
Gordana - very nice
Johnny - Love it!
Malvin - ??
Ra'mon - Deep V dress hahah
Carol - very cute!
Althea - uh, revealing!
Irina - lovely

And here are the judges' evaluations:

Too busy, sloppy, confusing - bowling ball bag! Ha, Mitchell was right.

Like lingerie, love the tiered effect (wait, this dress was top three?)

Appropriate, love the lines, love the color, love the jersey, bust is exposed! (I thought so)

He's using words like egg, and cocoon when describing his design.
The sling is disturbing, do you want to look like a chicken that has an egg?

How difficult is to make shorts? The shirt is too tight, she's a pregnant mess, don't think the execution worked out.

There's no bad angle to this dress, delivered something that is very nicely done with nice details.

Heidi's heard what the designers had to say, and they're ready to have a little chit chat.

The winner is!
Shirin! Sweet, I love that dress, it really is beautiful.

And the eye-opening loser is: Mitchell, Mitchell, Mitchell, Mitchell....MALVIN! WTF?? No!

Malvin goes back to say his good-byes, and with a sorrowful face declares that he is just too conceptual for America. I think it's too conceptual for Heidi, since America had nothing to do with this. Not that I'm defending his bizarre egg creation. We also get to hear all about what Malvin has learned from this experience, and here it is: Malvin learned how strong he is grounded as a designer, as a philosopher and as a person.

This is just my day job, I'm actually a strong philosopher

Apparently the one area he's not strongly grounded in is self-awareness. Oh well, good-bye Malvin.

Ohhh, next week they work in teams of two - could it be double eliminations?

Moments before.........

1 comment:

Honey Gangsta said...

So hilarious! Loved the part about Heidi just barely stopping herself from telling Rebecca Romijn how fat she looks and instead saying she's beautiful. Must be hard for poor Heidi.

Also - yes, what idiot would want something "form fitting" while at their bloatiest, most uncomfortable state?

Also LOVED the catalogue of Ra'mon's deep V's. You'd think I would have noticed those, but I guess I became immune to them after Date My Ex.

I'm so excited that you're recapping PR! Happy days are here again!!!