Bridge Over My Hammy Moon

This past weekend I went through another one of my DVR panic phases – I think I am going to call that intense stress and annoyance DVRP, cause “panic” really describes my need to consume everything in queue before it erases in “less than one day.” Oh that is the WORST! “In about 2 days” I can handle, but when the sand clock is part yellow, I have to reach for my xanax.

There was this one special show I’ve been saving for the right time. It’s from my new favorite channel – the National Geographic channel. And it was called “Conspiracy Moon Landing.” Oh yesssssssss! I wasn’t just going to watch this piece of gem on just any day. I was so excited when the time finally came on Sunday to watch this. I made myself an ice cream sunday, and propped my pillows up to be completely comfortable and I was ready to believe that the moon landings were fake! YES! Bring it on, change my mind. And you know me - it doesn’t take a lot to convince me that something was a conspiracy and a cover up, especially when it involves the government. So there I was with my thumb on the ‘play’ button, knowing that in 47 minutes (commercial free no less) I was going to be a different person. Butterflies.

It all started good, they presented some really great arguments about why and how the evidence from the lunar landing was fabricated. The grin on my face grew wider and wider. Then the documentary started showing the old men that are these conspiracy theorists – of course they were old and decrepit and living on nuclear testing grounds outside of Las Vegas in a trailer (like Cousin Eddie from Nat’l Lampoons). I also noticed that they kept doing extreme close-ups of these old people and their wretched teeth. How is anyone supposed to take them seriously like that? They even called them cultural vandals.

Then there was the guy who was so pissed off about all of this that he made it his life work to prove the conspiracy theorists wrong. He spent all this time and money on setting up experiments to try to recreate (unsuccessfully) the fake moon landing. What? How does that prove anything? Of course he’s unsuccessful, that makes him successful in proving that they’re wrong and he’s right. That’s a fallacy and a slippery slope if I have ever heard one.

In the end, I was really disappointed because I felt they depicted the conspirators in a very questionable light instead of giving them a fair chance, and they made the anti-conspirators look like nut jobs as well. **sigh**

So I’m not convinced that the moon landing was faked, but at least I’m starting to think about it as a possibility. I was so excited to believe, but I couldn’t do it based on the evidence presented to me in 47 minutes of corporately sponsored television.

Afterward, I watched the top ten bridges of the world, and boy were they off! The London Bridge in Havasu made number 10 – I knew right there and then the list was bullshit. They put the biggest, longest, most amazing suspension bridge – the Akashi Kaikyo Bridge (my personal favorite) at number two behind the Golden Gate Bridge. Totally wrong. I protest the Top Ten Bridges show.