Friday, April 06, 2007

Show Recommendations, Part IV

I am the bull's eye for who Paradise City was targeted to. I freakin' LOUVRE this show!

Paradise City is an awesome show about young singles living in Las Vegas. As you can imagine, just knowing that, I was already sold on this gem. The characters are the ones that make this all work, but I am a sucker for anything set in Sin City.

Great thing #1: The Maloof brothers are in this show. Well, at least the ugly, less famous Maloof bro has made it so far on screen. I don’t know his first name (and really who cares) but he has a little protégé named JJ who is about 23.

A Maloof and JJ - The Kings of Sin City

Now imagine a 23 year-old in Vegas working for the Maloofs, who practically own Las Vegas! I so want to be him. He gets to throw parties at the Palms Fantasy Suites that are not occupied that night, and so he did for a Playboy Playmate – April, the only brunette in the bunch. She is of course, very beautiful, but there’s something off about her. Which is probably why she appeals to all of man kind – the illusive beautiful women with something just slightly off that makes her so special.

The Stunning, The Beautiful, The Playboy Bunny

April left an 'architectural landscaping carreer' in Chicago to be whore in Vegas. Sounds like wise choice. April has a friend named Molly, a fake blonde who wears a ton of mascara and hot pink lip gloss. Great thing #2: her not-so-friendly-friends called her a Butter Face on the show! If you listen to K&B you should know what a Butter Face is!

I Can't Believe It's Not Molly!

Molly likes Jack, but Jack just wants to be friends. Jack likes Jenner, a competitor to Molly in entertainment reporting. Molly hates Jenner and Jenner calls Molly a Butter Face…ha ha ha. Jack is a gigantic wuss.

I Wonder What Jack Does for a Living

He is, as we are reminded every time he graces the screen, a promoter and DJ at Hard Rock Hotel, and he walks around like he’s so cool and so awesome. Then when it came to ask Jenner on a date, he put his hands over his mouth and muffled – will you have dinner with me sometime – then looked at the ground. A gigantic WUSS! All of this on TV no less! So he could show the whole world what a retard he is. Anyway, Jenner is no better…she loved it. She is that girl who is totally awkward around people in a try-to-please-you way.

Livin' in Douche Bag City

Back to April – She likes a guy named Rick who is in a band (coincidentally, Brit’s old manager Larry Rudolph is looking to manage Rick’s band), but JJ (Maloof’s right hand man) likes April. Molly wants April to go out with JJ because he is connected and has friends, and Rick is basically a loser. Rick is hot and cold, and April never knows what will come next, meanwhile, JJ took April on a private jet to Sacramento to watch the Kings play from floor seats! But April is too smitten with Rick. In the last episode, this jackass came to meet with April in a restaurant, and she was looking totally beautiful and made-up in that way that makes you want to look at her. He of course, sat down and avoided all eye contact. Didn’t compliment her or admire her, nothing. Apparently, gorgeous playboy models are dime a dozen in his world. Why don’t men appreciate women by verbally expressing how grateful they are to be in their company? This guy is a looser! And he’s acting like he’s doing her a favor. I hate Rick. Oh, classic line from Rick: “This isn’t Relationship City, It’s Sin City.” Yes, thanks for that.

Prince Lorenzo of Vegas

Here’s Rick’s quote about JJ taking April on a date: "It’s like this, you know when there’s a cheetah, and it’s going to eat some meat, and he sees the lion. And the lion is looking, and they’re staring at each other. And the cheetah just wants to show everybody – I ain’t scared of the lion." [Who’s who?]

Justin Timberlake Says: What Goes Around Comes Around

Then there’s Greta, Jenner’s roommate. Greta looks like Cameron Diaz gone wrong. She was once into Rick (I guess she was into not being noticed or appreciated) but is now into a beefy guy named Willie. Oh goodness… This guy is the dumbest, but at least he’s sweet. He doesn’t really know what to say ever and he keeps circling around his feelings for Greta.

Stock in Protein Bars up 5 Points Since Air of Show

In the last episode, Greta went to see him perform in the TOURNAMENT OF KINGS!!!!!!! He’s a Jouster! Holy crap, I am almost died when I saw that was his profession. To this Greta confessed to us all, that she was so impressed with Willie’s career that it inspired her to get her act together too. I can barely breathe laughing!

I totally want to live in Las Vegas!


Honey Gangsta said...

Ok, I just watched the latest episode of this and these people all suck. None of them have even half a personality. When you watch this episode, please note that about 1/2 the dialogue was dubbed in during post production. Specifically any conversation that Rick and Greta have regarding April, and then when April says to Rick "are we still just friends?" Totally added in later.

Also, Jack is such a creep. The way he talks to Jenner always seems like he's making it clear that he is doing her a huge favor. Like when he has her over to dinner he tells her she's sweet, and then he says, "But sweet gets old." Then she says he's cute and he says, "I'm not cute, I'm hot." Just to keep her in her place. I would not spend five seconds with that guy. Or with her for that matter. She never smiles. She always looks really worried and confused. I guess they make a good freaky couple. They can torment each other until one of them finds someone more beneficial.

Then Molly has a book release party in her pink lip gloss. Apparently she helped write some girls' guide to Vegas (whatever). The party is all awkward and no one seems like they want to be there and they all just talk to each other and ignore Molly and her pink lip gloss. Then at the end she starts picking up people's copies of her book and signing them. Everyone's like, "Huh? Oh thanks." So pathetic.

And Rick is trying to determine whether to ditch his cousins and go solo or stay with them out of loyalty. News Flash douchebag: it doesn't matter! This show is the ONLY thing you'll ever be known for. You might as well hang on to any friends you have. He won't though. He'll decide they're holding back the glorious tornado that is his talent and break free for a solo career that we'll never hear about. We'll see him later on the Surreal Life or Dancing With the Stars - if he's lucky.

Icky, icky people. Great show, though.

Then after only like three episodes, next week is the season finale. What?

NoiXdeCoco said...

Wow - your comment is funnier than my post! I really need to work on craft. In fact, I'm surprised you haven't deserted me to break free for a solo career as a master blogger :)

I am now inspired to re-cap this show, but if it's crap, not sure how much I (or you) will get out of it.

Carry on...