Monday, November 19, 2007

Project Runway - Same Shit, Different People

We are back for another season of Project Runway, my return from a very long hiatus, and a shot at second chances with Michael Kors. This season of Project Runway is sure to be dramatic, exciting, and fashion forward. But really, the host of our show said it best on a recent appearance on the Ellen show: “Same shit, different people” – Heidi Klum.

The episode starts a bit abruptly, with designers coming into their Gotham apartments one by one and I can’t help but count the minutes till I get a visual on Michael Kors.

Countdown to Kors – T minus 31 minutes

Kors break:
Speaking of Mr. Kors, before leaving NY, I went to the Mecca of outlet shopping, the most amazing place my eyes have ever seen – Woodbury Commons – and I went into the Michael Kors store. I went in mostly to be close to things that came from his mind, or at least the minds of those he hired and I grazed the merchandise like a nervous spy, watching the sales associates watch me as I privately freaked out. His stuff is actually really great and I found a few pieces I might have considered had I not been undressed and dressed again 22 times previously that day already. Even my love for Kors has its limits.

As the designers enter the apartment (eerily similar to my last apartment in Manhattan – wood floors, very sterile, wall unit heater/ac, small) we find out about a few of them through their own confessionals when they answer the question – 'who are you and why do you make fashion?' Curiously, some enter with just a name mention and we’re on to the next ones. Here are the ones who were worthy of an introduction:

Rami – has his own studio in LA; has worked with Jessica Alba;
Chris – costume designer – has actually made a costume out of salad;
Christian – fierce and a celebrity according to him – would rather buy clothes than a bed;
Carmen – a former model, this she feels will give her an edge. I bet it won’t be the first time we hear that she was once a model;
Jillian – an illustrator for Ralph Lauren;

At this point I am struck by the fact that a lot of these people have done very well for themselves career-wise already.

Pistol – believes that life is too short to have on a bad outfit

Then come the triumvirate of hotness…Kevin, Jack and Steven.

Kevin – a straight designer, not gay, not homosexual, and likes to sleep with women. Please don’t forget this as you watch him with the gayest looking facial hair growth you’ve ever seen;
Jack – HOT, muscles, hotness;
Steve – works in a museum, uh, ok;

We then meet…
Elisa – she says she’s an accidental fashion designer. Also mentions marionettes, is clearly crazy;
Marion – flower shop owner;
Ricky – wanted to be a dancer, and cries in the first episode;
Sweet P – was in a motorcycle club and now has tattoos;
Victorya – a fellow immigrant, was born in Korea;

A la the omnipresent Tyra, the gang is welcomed with Heidi Mail that asks the designers to meet her at Bryant Park. This is of course significant because the ultimate prize of this contest is a chance to design a line of clothing to be presented at Fashion Week in NY held at Bryant Park. There is some bubbly waiting for them, and we get to know a few more people. The only one worth mentioning was Ricky, who believes this experience is a “deep thing” and “not just a game” which drives him to tears, naturally.

Heidi and Tim gallivant in to the party. Heidi at first glance appears to be wearing a leotard, skin tight and black. And why not? She’s only had 3 kids!! How do they do it? Later it turns out not to be a leotard but I remained curiously irritated.

From their welcome speech we find out that Olympus fashion week is now called the Mercedes fashion week and that Tim is the chief creative officer at Liz Claiborne Inc. The success of the show has rippling effects in the community.

Just after a few minutes, the party is over and Heidi presents them with their first challenge. Use the tents to make an outfit! Oh wait, it’s not the tents, but the $50,000 worth of ‘premium textiles’ that are in the tents donated by Mood Fabrics. Side note - I’ve been to mood to find fabric to make curtains. That place is HUGE! And since Project Runway has been using them exclusively since season 2, they sure owe them $50K worth of ‘premium textiles’ for all the free publicity they’ve received. The designers have 10 minutes to pick all of their 'premium textiles' needed to create their signature outfit.

Elisa, one of the craziest humans you’ve ever laid eyes on, took silk chiffon and rubbed it in the grass to get a stain. Everyone just stood around watching her, and not being able to decipher if she’s genius or psychotic. As we all know there is a fine line between the two.

After everyone picked their ‘premium textiles’ by no obvious method, we’re off to Parson’s where the magic happens.

Countdown to Kors – T minus 15 minutes
Kors Break...

Kors says - it's time to burn your low rise pants

Tim reminds the designers to show the judges "who they are." They have till 1am.

There’s a whole lot of designers buzzing like bees, and I notice that Simone has fangs! It was so fascinating that I couldn’t hear a word she said; I was fixated on her fangs.

Elisa is crazy, and you can tell Tim thinks so also. She didn’t want to comprise and take into account any of Tim’s feedback and also decided to not finish her dress. Instead, she opted to go to sleep.

Countdown to Kors – T minus 5 minutes

It’s finally judgment day. We see the designers get ready for this important first judging, and we get lots of gratuitous underwear shot of Jack, who is mighty hot for a 38 year old.

Tim asks the designers to gather around, and gives them a quick pep talk. Then he sends in the models, who don’t seem as attractive this season to me as in the past. Maybe they need a second chance or maybe Heidi is getting insecure. The designers have 2 hours to dress the models, whisk them away to the TRESemm√© hair salon, and the L’Oreal Paris make-up room, and don’t forget the Bluefly accessories wall!! And to drink your Dasani water and walk in your Aerosoles shoes, and…

Stairway to make-up

Finally we have the big debut of Mr. Kors while I wait with baited breath. We’re at 32 minutes into the show and already on the runway. Heidi comes out in a gold stunner, with middle parted wavy hair just as golden as her dress, she looks pretty amazing. There are new prizes this season:
Spread in Elle Magazine
An opportunity to sell line on Bluefly (not sure what exactly this means, but it sounds like it’s rife with asterisks)
2008 Saturn Estra
$100K to start own line

Here we are – ready to MEET THE JUDGES!!!
Firs is the incredible, the incomparable Michael Kors, still in same black shirt / black blazer combo from the last 3 seasons, looking incredible!
And then there’s Nina Garcia and some chick named Monique Lhuillier (probably a designer).

Here are the dress with my initial reactions (NdC), the judges comments to the designers faces (CF), and the judges comments behind their backs(CBB).

(NdC)She looks like she’s tangled in the dress

Judges say...
(CF) Awful effect, you should have listened to your intuition.
(CBB) Went way too far, she was pooing fabric, train wreck

(NdC) Gorgeous!!! Purple satin

(NdC) Very cute young girls outfit

Sweet P
(NdC) Potato sack – reminds me of Pretty in Pink

(NdC) Eh, plain

Judges say...
(CF) Dressed in the dark, poor construction
(CBB) Boring, poorly made, no creativity, couldn’t deliver

(NdC) Crazy 80s prom dress

(NdC) Not for me, but so cute

Judges say:
(CF) Quirky tailored, polished. Didn’t find fabrics interesting, but fantastic silhouette, fantastic design
(CBB) – innovative, edgy, the back looked fantastic

(NdC) Too much fabric

Judges say...
(CBB) Flirtiness, charm

(NdC) Looked better on the mannequin

Judges say...
(CF) Executed, beautifully, very sheik, sophisticated. Kors – flower is a little MOB - mother of the bride
(CBB) He knows his craft

(NdC) Favorite! Black and silver baby doll

Judges say...
(CF) Sweet but safe. Kinda boring.
(CBB) Well made, but not good enough

(NdC) Very cute

(NdC) Madonna 80s torn lace

(NdC) A suit??? Really?

(NdC) 80s

(NdC) Very very cute, new favorite

Chris, Kevin, Sweet P, Jillian, Jack, Marion, Steve, Carmen, Kit – scores high enough to go to next round.

Winner – Rami
Loser – Simone and her fangs

Looks like an exciting season, despite Heidi's foreshadowing.
See ya next time.


Anonymous said...

"...some chick named Monique Lhuillier (probably a designer)."

Tell me you're kidding! You don't know who Monique Lhuillier is? I know Michael Kors was sitting right there, but surely you heard Heidi's description of her as an "Acclaimed Desginer"? Trust me, she is.

Still, I very much enjoyed your blog... I'll have to come read it after episode two!

NoiXdeCoco said...

I was kidding - it was for effect...since I am blinded by my love for Kors, I don't really see anyone else :)

Thanks for your nice note. It has been a while since I posted, and felt pretty rusty. Hopefully upcoming posts will be more funny. Ha.

Anonymous said...

Aaaaaagh! I luv pr. ur blog is soo cool and funny and i ttly agree with everything.cant wait to read the next one.