Tuesday, December 04, 2007

NFL and Fashion Don't Mix on the (Project) Runway

Pink! Not just for football players

We start off this week with an endearing story of Jack being HIV positive for the past 17 years. The good news is that he’s never been healthier! His ultimate goal is to make it to Bryant Park (just like everyone else on the show). 17 years is a long time to be living with HIV, he must be made of steel to deal with this for so long.

Stay strong Jack, and keep working out

The boys ponder what Marion is doing and they make fun of Christian and his troll hair. We find out through his confessional that that little shit is not as confident as he was before but he ‘just knows’ he makes better clothes than any of the other designers. THAT’S how confident he was before, that after a blow to his ego, he merely thinks he makes better clothes than all of the other designers.

Off to the runway we go. Heidi is wearing a red sparkly potato sack and announces that this week, we have no models and a field trip. Tim Gunn is waiting for them at Rockefeller Plaza, incidently, where I will be in a few short days for our Christmas Party, how very exciting. Chop chop says Heidi!!

Tim takes the designers with a huge grin on his face to meet Tiki Barber – legendary football player, and now a correspondent for the Today Show. According to Ricky, NO ONE knows who he is! But he’s gorgeous. That’s amusing to me. Sarah Jessica Parker drives people to tears, and Tiki Barber draws crickets.

The challenge, as presented by Tiki, is to desing an outfit for him to wear on the Today Show. Apparently this is a huge task because men’s wear requires a lot of tailoring and a lot of detail work. Tiki’s special challenges are a big neck, a skinny waist and a big butt – 36”, 24”, 36”? Only if he’s 5’4”!!! We also find out that he likes dark colors, textures and depth. He loves details. He’ll wear pink and pastels, as long as it accents the whole outfit. Get to it designers.

Christian is brought back to the workroom curled up in a shopping bag, and later on someone’s back. He’s become the pet monkey of the workroom. They have 30 min to sketch and 30 min at Mood to buy fabric. Most of the designers struggle with this challenge, since they’ve never done men’s wear. At Mood Tim tells them – “off you go.” Kit apparently has a slight advantage because she knows what works on camera. Jack tries out a different technique and takes off his shorts, then takes apart the seams, and traces the pattern to make his pants. Some of the other designers used the pattern from his shorts too and this raised questions from the group about being fair. It’s not brought up again, so it seems like just bickering.

At midnight time is called and the designers freak out about their progress.

Kors Break: I was at Macy’s yesterday and everywhere I looked, it was Michael Kors shoes, and Micheal Kors bags, and Michael Kors hosiery, it was great. I actually found this amazing bag that I just love, and what a coincidence, it was from the Kors collection. That man has some style!

Isn't it fabulous? Just think, if 100 people sent me $3 each, I could own this bag!!!

We’re back from break, and Tim comes in the room with 10 hours to go with a “nice announcement” – he’s sending in the models early! The disrobing of men causes quite the stir in the workroom, except for Kevin, cause as we should remember, he’s straight, and has no idea why he is so excited, but it’s definitely not because of the disrobing men. Elisa, the crazy, has issues with men in underwear cause she has a boyfriend, so she turns her back. I can’t help but wonder why aren’t the male models wearing flesh colored undies??? They’re white and gray. And white and gray show right through white pants. Some of the designers have to start over because their items just don’t fit.

Tim comes back in and asks for a gathering round. He brings in a special guest – Ginny Barber, Tiki’s wife. She’s tanned and Asian as Christian observed and I notice she looks similar to Kimora. She also seems very uncomfortable. Here’s what we learned from this tour of observations – everyone has a lot of work to do.

Kors Break: This week we are lacking a video blog from Mr. Kors! Tisk tisk. Which item of clothing is so out-of-style that I have to burn in flames? Where is taxi yellow going to accent my wardrobe this week? So many questions and NO MICHAEL KORS to answer! So to fill this void, I shall quote from the production blog, which was just a plain-old word blog. Video blogging is only for the fabulous:

Work that black!

Production blog: I have to say, it was a nice change to see a bunch of pretty boys, instead of the usual girlie girls. While they were filming the reveal for the 3rd challenge, the PAs and I were busy doing the usual: cleaning. Poor Katie had to clean up some nasty spill that stank up the whole floor. To be blunt, that happens about two or three times a day. I spent time with Wallace on the judging cards. It’s a task that I enjoy because it’s a set thing that I can do each episode, and I can see the contribution on TV. I put all these pretty pictures of the designers and type out the challenge. It’s a simple task, but there is a sense of pride I get in doing them.

Isn’t being an PA just so fantastically crappy? I hope Ms. Brockhouse reads the above…I wouldn’t want her to take a job as a production assistant then be blown away about how little glamour there is to it. Learn from others! Just looking out for you sister.

Back to our task at hand...
Tim is sending in the models, and they have 2 hours for hair and makeup. Huh? Hair and make-up? Hair, maybe. And we see, they get hair cuts and gel and massaging of hair follicles. But make-up?? OMG, they’re putting mascara on some of the men. This is really disturbing to me. And I gather it will be even more disturbing for you. You see, I’ve always thought a little eye liner on men is kinda hot. Especially the rocker type of man. But a model? And mascara? SO WRONG!

Panic ensues in the workroom, and Ricky is so pressed for time that he had to ask his model to sew for him! Christian’s synopsis of the scene around him – there are so many things that are jacked up.

And we’re on the runway! Which means it’s just mere seconds from Michael Kors time! What is Heidi wearing??? A dress that is 6 sizes too big for her. We meet the judges:

The incredible, the incomparable, the handsomely delicious Michael Kors in his black T and black blazer. Some chick named Nina, and Tiki Barber. Kevin, the straight as an arrow guy, gets a twinkle in his eyes as he makes contact with Tiki from across the room.

Kevin studied at New York City's Fashion Institute of Technology, and is NOT gay

The runway show was blah to me. I felt like I couldn’t even react to any of the outfits that came down the catwalk, except for Sweet P’s which made me laugh out loud.

These designers are safe:
Jillian, Christian, Rami, Steve, Victorya, Chris, Elissa

These designers are in for a judging:
Carmen, Jack, Kit, Sweet P, Kevin, and Ricky get judged.

Ricky: Sloppy. 'I would look like a fool in this.' Dull (followed by a serious hammer hitting iron sound effect). 'It looked like my 5 year old did it.'

Kevin: They like the vest, but looks like the designer ran out of time. It's avant guard; a look.

Sweet P: Judges say it's conservative, has style, but messy. 'How on earth could you send your model down the runway?' (Made me laugh out loud) Totally wrong, there was noting to it.

Kit: Judges like the textures, fits naturally. Kors says: If that jacket wasn’t made of fleece? Like give me a xanax, I’m asleep. They liked the overall presentation. Fantastic, versatile, unique.

Jack: Judges say trousers fit nicely, looks really nice. They love the textures. The outfit looks great. Smart, but missing a third piece.

Carmen: Jacket is too short, crotch is insane, this is unacceptable. Kors says: appropriate for boogie nights star. Heidi scorns Carmen for having a half naked model.

The bottom 3

Winner – Jack
Loser – Carmen

I was sad to see Carmen go, she was way cute. I could do without Ricky and his crying. And can someone please get Heidi a mirror? What has been going on with her outfits lately?

See you (very) soon....

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