The Bachelor: The Women Tell Nothing (Mini Cap)

Last night on The Bachelor, the women told... not that much. They managed to turn it into a two-hour extravaganza, however, so we got to see a bunch of former Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants cavorting in Las Vegas, getting wasted and hooking up with each other. They also participated in some charity activity in an attempt to not look like utter losers, but they're not fooling me.

Nanny Elizabeth admitted that she was kind of an idiot on the show, Crazy Michelle admitted nothing (except that The Bachelor isn't the way to find love), and Mean Ali dramatically lamented her regrettable decision to choose work over love. Then she apologized publicly for being such a snot to Wiener. If you ask me, she's warming up America for her announcement to be the next Bachelorette.

Rozlyn inexplicably agreed to come back and answer questions about "entering into an inappropriate relationship with one of our staffers," and it turned into a pissing contest between her and Chris Harrison, but really didn't clear anything up. A few of the girls volunteered information about seeing her cuddling and even kissing a producer, but the most damning evidence was from a girl who said there was one night where she couldn't find Rozlyn anywhere. Huh? Case closed, I guess. Rozlyn was pretty pissed off, clearly, and lobbed a few insults at Chris, but the girls and the crowd were clearly against her. I still don't really care one way or the other. I just don't understand: 1) Why she agreed to come back to talk about it, she must have been under contract. 2) Why have we not heard one thing from the guy supposedly involved in this. Logically wouldn't he have some answers?

Finally Jake came out and said that when Gia left his heart was crying (even though his face was doing nothing of the sort). He also sniffled and said he wished he had gotten to know Christina better because he needs a shopping partner, then he decided to throw caution to the wind and propose on the spot to Chris Harrison, unable to hold in his true feelings any longer. It was a long night.