Monday, January 30, 2006

EPISODE 3: Tongues A'waggin'

First kisses…ahhh. So sweet to be one of the many girls who gets to kiss sweet Travis, probably on the same night. I’m surprised when one girl kisses sweet Travis, she doesn’t go home and have the others demand that they make-out with her so they can get a taste of his spit in their mouth. Ha ha.

I’m glad to report that dazed-and-confused Canadian, despite her best efforts, did not get the first kiss. That honor fell on Susan, the really gorgeous brunette (GASP) who when asked if there was tongue, she said – no tongue, it was classy. Classy – like being one of 8 girls who dates the same guy.

On the Canadian’s date, they went CAMPING, no joke. And they took another girl. It was hilarious. S.T. was teaching the other blonde to make a spear by using a knife to sharpen the end of a twig, “like how [the Canadian] is doing it.” Camera pans to the Canadian, she’s rolling her eyes, so totally annoyed that he’s paying attention to the other one. S.T. then says to the other blonde – I love watching you do this, with such intensity, that’s great. The Canadian had her mouth open as she heard this. I’ll give the Canadian this for entertainment value – she sure knows how to portray her feelings with face.

End of date, S.T. send’s home the other blonde, and kisses the Canadian for the first time – and let me tell you, there was tongue! It was like that kiss in the November Rain video between Stephanie and Axl, it was quite distasteful. Way to go Canadian! At least we didn’t get the slurping sound like at the horticulture distribution when they whisper and smooch into the mic.

Moana (chocolate covered macadamia nuts in Hawai’i) got a rose on the group date because she could care less about the bachelor. And the others HATE her, because…’she’s not here for the right reasons.’

Sweet Travis has gained some favorable points with me as the equilibrium of blondes has been shifted. All but two blondes have been sent home, perhaps he’s more of a chest man. Remember the last Bachelor? That’s how I figured out who was going to win. Current score: Brunettes – 3; Blondes – 2; Red Heads – 1, but not for long. The red head girl is out of control, she’s constantly interrupting one-on-one times. Sweet Travis might have to give her the thorn.

Cliché counter:
She’s not here for the right reasons: IV
I can really see myself with you: III
My future wife might be here in this room: I

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