Travis Makes This Show Cruel and Unusual Punishment

So you didn’t miss much on the fantasy dates, except that Sweet Travis didn’t know what to expect because he’s never been on a fantasy date. Oh, oh, and also you missed 36 minutes of why the fantasy / overnight dates are so important as told by the three couples that ended up together even after the show. THIRTY SIX MINUTES, which means a third of that – 12 minutes – was Trista’s omniscient knowledge of love and the way that the world works speech.

I’m sooo not impressed with Travis at all. His bobble head and his ignorance of everything around him. He seems like he’s coasting through life, and I’m going venture out on a limb and call him a dumb ass redneck. On his date with the chocolate covered macadamia nut in Venice, she asked, which church is this? No clue of course. Not a lick of Italian, no clue about his surroundings, and I bet he had no inclination to find out either. It was the same in Paris; he just fumbled his way like a marble in a pin ball machine, a marble with a bobble head.

Then came the date with Sarah…I was minding my business, watching this date, bored to hell, when all of a sudden, screech…breaks on the pedals!!!! What did he say?? I must rewind, my old friend the DVR. Sarah talks about how close and intimate and affectionate people in Europe are and how it’s sweet. And this is what Sweet Travis had to say about that:

“I think being intimate with someone is a very private thing. Even if it’s just a kiss, ultimately a kiss is between 2 people and that’s what it’s meant for. So when I see people in public going at it, are they performing? Sometimes I think they are. What’s the point of that?”

Wow! What is the point of that? Initially, a kiss could be between a group of people, but ultimately, it’s between only 2. Because a kiss is not meant for groups of people, because then it’s performing. OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!! What are these women doing???? He is so dumb.

So then they have dinner, and Sweet Travis suggest that they steal all the food and go to the fantasy sniggle snoggle…and what does Sarah, the preschool teacher say to that? “That is the best idea ever!” She said it again a minute later, “That is the best idea ever!”

You saw Susan’s date, so no need to comment, except for the fact that she was jumping for joy, blatantly trying to be the right girl for Trav when he suggested rock climbing. Even on their way up, she actually said – I wish we could climb higher. That’s how great it was.

And her black hair doesn’t match her brown dress. And she always stands with her legs apart, like she’s too skinny and will fall over if she doesn’t prop herself. Seriously, I was totally wanting Susan to say, if only I poured acid on my face and lost a limb, I would have a fair chance, it’s so not fair!!

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Women tell all – I’m so over this show…I only have one comment. Chris said “The women don’t know this, but the bachelor is here.” WHAT? I knew, and I’m not even involved. Why wouldn’t they know? The bachelor ALWAYS comes to the women tell all. Dumb ass.

I put all my money on Moana.