Thursday, May 11, 2006

How Precious

Okay, I'm having a lot of irritation with Brit. I really don't understand what exactly she thought being a model meant. She whines about something every time she goes on a casting. And when she's on her photo shoots, she wants to do weird things like wear a bra under a swimsuit. If she ever does a lingerie shoot, she'll probably request a t-shirt to wear under the bra. She cried to her mom on the phone that in one photo shoot it looked like she was topless. Looked like she was topless. So she wasn’t topless? Obviously her boobs didn’t show because we know that she would burst into flames if those things ever saw daylight. So what – she showed her bare back? Is that what all the tears were about? Honestly I really don’t know what she thought she’d be doing when she moved into the model apartment to work for a modeling agency. Taking dictation? Has she never seen a fashion magazine? Seriously.

Strangely, on the last episode, Brit related a story where she had to do a shoot where she and a guy were pretending to be in bed together. So… she made it through that ordeal? That sounds like something she would have fallen apart over. Turns out it was okay because they didn’t have to kiss. As long as they didn’t have to kiss it’s okay. What about what her dad will think? Like she was worried about what he would think when her back showed, you know? She must have been in fluffy flannel winter jammies for the bed scene or else I don’t know how she survived. So then she was traumatized that she had to pretend to like Teddy in a photo shoot and she actually went to the bookers and asked them to request that there be no kissing! WHAT? This is a brand new, no-name little newby and she’s making demands like this? I don’t get why the bookers even entertain such requests. It’s so unprofessional. I’m not saying she has to do everything that is asked of her – especially if it gets weird or really starts crossing lines, but who in the world is she to go in there and – before she’s even been hired, mind you – request that there be no kissing in the photo shoot!? If I were hiring models and heard a request like that, I would pass that model over just for being high maintenance from the get-go. Un-proven models don’t get to make demands, do they? I mean, do they? I don’t think that the modeling world is going to be patient with her wide-eyed, teary innocent act for much longer. Yes, you have to change your clothes sometimes if you want to be a model. No, you don’t get to pick what you wear or who you work with or your eye shadow or the backdrop. You show up a DO WHAT THEY WANT. That’s it.

My next worry about this show is that Teddy seems to be the most articulate cast member. This is HIGHLY alarming. The rest of them always seem to be beating around the bush and talking around the issue and never really saying anything. There’s a lot of “you know,” and “I don’t know,” and “we’ll just see.” Most of the time I can sum up what needs to be said in about 10 seconds, but we still have to sit through 3 minutes of stammering with no resolution. Case in point: Brit’s convo with Teddy on this last episode. First of all, she comes by – obviously as instructed by someone because she would never had voluntarily come by after the HORROR of pretending to like each other at the casting. Teddy was obviously expecting her because he quickly jumped off the phone when she arrived – not something a guy does if he didn’t request the meeting. Then he started asking her why it was weird at the casting.

Brit: I don’t know, it’s like… didn’t you think it was weird?

Teddy: Yeah it was kind of weird. Did you know I’m not with Heide anymore? (Okay, there could be an entire BLOG about the hilarity of that comment).

Brit: Um, oh. No. I didn’t know. I don’t know.

Teddy: Yeah. I’m still looking for that sweet girl. (Huh?)

Brit: (silence, looks at the sky) Um…

Teddy: So if everything hadn’t happened like it did, would we have had a connection?

Brit: Um, uh. I don’t know. (looks at the sky)

Wow. She is a fountain of information isn’t she? Can someone please get her snowsuit to wear under that bikini?

I’ve spent so much time hating on Brit that I didn’t even get to the twin situation which is clearly insane. Kelly said that Sabrina looked CUTE (and sad) when she found out that Kelly got the Dillard’s campaign instead of her. Can you imagine if it had been reversed? That’s another point I’m always wanting to scream at the TV while Sabrina is stammering around not saying anything. Reverse the situation, evil witch, and think how you would react. Um yeah. Wait, what? Um, it’s like, I don’t know…


NoiXdeCoco said...

Ha ha!! T-shirt under her underwear for a lingerie shoot. Totally, like last week when she had her bra and panties under her swimsuit. Hilarious. Jen's dad, who used to work in apparel, once told me that models are actually considered the designer's whores...that's where the catwalk came from - cuase they're girls from the cat house. Their history is of being a group of disrespected whores that were, as with everything in America, glamourized and romanticized. It's just like Hollywood and Country music, neither are anything of significance and yet they both paint a picture of life inside as fabulous and glamorous, but the more you try to find it, the more you see there's nothing there...but I digress.

Teddy's HIGHLY alarming skills of being the most articulate cast member - that's funny. I see your point, but I guess I wouldn't have come to that conclusion as that still doesn't make him articulate, right?!? Yeah that last scene with him and Brit was totally staged, so funny. I usually never watch the "previously on..." but my remote was MIA for a second and I heard the part when they re-capped Teddy asking "So what do you think about Heidi" and I almost peed my pants laughing. I had tears coming down my face from the uncontrolable hilarity (usually the same reacting to your blog posts).

And PS - when Irene Maria, who thank GOD we were spared from until minute 23 to see her ugly face, said we should move someone into the model's house, WHO DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GOING TO BE HEIDI?????????????????? Please, then her big entrance was all like masked, like we didn't know seven minutes ago.

Kelly and Sabrina - wow. During the contact lense shoot, when they singled out Sabrina, Kelly gave her the fakest, most awefully jealous smile that meant "I hate you" that I've ever seen. And then when she got the phone call for Dillards, she was like - "Me? Dillards? Me?" To make sure that poor Sabrina knew without having to break the news to her gently. And then she was so evil when she said it was cute that she was sad.

The thing about Sabrina is that she was actually disappointed that she didn't get the job, not that Kelly did get the job. Kelly on the other hand gets pissed off if Sabrina gets any piece of success because she's evil and jealous.

This show is magic. It's lke Laguna Beach on the South Beach diet..ha ha ha.

Honey Gangsta said...

Just to clarify on Teddy being articulate. Um - NO. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's just that on this episode he was the only one whose lines actually moved anything forward. Everyone else is just looking at the sky and saying, "um..." He was actually asking questions - as retarded and embarrassing as they were - and no one else ever does that. Even the twins, when dealing with the agency, never SAY anything. It's all grunting.

Honey Gangsta said...

P.S. Did you see last week's episode when (as I so brilliantly predicted) the black girl left? Her name escapes me. When she made the announcement at lunch, one of the other girls goes, "Why are you crying?" And she said it all snotty. Um hello? Because she knows her modeling career is over perhaps? They are so bitchy and insensitive. They were all like, "Well, good. If you want to move to LA, move to LA. Good for you. Why are you crying?" It was so sad because she really didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay and play and be young and pretty like the others and they could care less. A bunch of heartless ho's. They're just glad to lose her as competition.

Honey Gangsta said...

P.S. 2 - I am SO ashamed to say this, but I really must admit that... (I didn't know it was going to be Heide.)


NoiXdeCoco said...

Oh, well maybe it's just a gift that I have for predicting the predictable (like the OC, remember that? I was saying the dialogue as it was happening - so lame)

I do remember that lunch, they were super mean to her. They all just stared and didn't give a shit that this girl was turning her life upside down. They were like - 'hm, whatever. Do you have a nail file?'

NoiXdeCoco said...

Ok, you have to read this post, it's HILARIOUS!!!

And then follow this link for the TVGasm interpretation of their commerical:

NoiXdeCoco said...

Ha - and this was a comment on that post:

I knew as soon as I.M. said she wanted to move someone in it would be Heide. I hope next season they actually give Briana, Talesha and Sean screen time


I hope that we don't have to wait forever (I'm looking at YOU Laguna) for the next season.

Ha ha ha