Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Piedra Estrella Confusion

One day I was walking on the streets of New York when I saw a poster for Rockstar: Supernova. I was amazed that I had not known that the show was coming back on the air, especially since I watched every episode religiously last season. Hmmmm...then I find out that the first episode has already aired! What? How did I miss this? Where was my rock radar? Then I realize that I don't know a band named Supernova. But it sounded like maybe there was a band back in the day that I was faintly remembering - like "Toad the Wet Sprocket." Or maybe it was all the Bosa Nova I've been listening to that spun me into a spiral of confusion. I think I stood infront of the poster for an inappropriate time staring, and trying to figure it all out (failed rock radar, misplaced band name).

Anyway, after that east village debacle, I caught a clip on my favorite show - the Soup. And there was Jason Newsted - an ex-patriot of the greatest rock band on the face of the earth (and also my alter identity). WHAT? How did I miss this??????? So long story short - they're making a band with the ex-bassist of Metallica, the ex-drummer of Motley Crue: Tommy Lee (and also the most mentally challenged), and the ex-guitarist of Guns n' Roses: Gilby Clark. Except I had NO IDEA who the hell Gilby Clark was and I am very familiar with Axl Rose's posse, so again, I am so confused.

I have a lot to say about this show.
Let's start with the name of the band - Supernova. GAY! The end.
Let's proceed to the hosts - Brooke Burke and Dave Navarro (also referred to as the Dynamic Duo on the official web site). This whole production by the way, is a vehicle for Brooke Burke's divorced ass to look "sexy." I have yet to see an episode where Dave doesn't stroke her ego about how hot she looks. Uh - this has nothing to do with you Brookie.

Can you imagine Phil from the Amazing Race getting all oiled up and sexy at every pit stop and then the producers instructing the contestants to make sure they tell Phil he's hot?

And then there's Dave Navarro...this is all I have to say about that:

Next, I'd like to talk about this "Gilby" fellow...I was incredible irritated with him in the beginning, I mean, who does he think he is? No counterpart of Tommy Lee and Jason Newsted. And because he was the most vocal (and not as mentally challenged as T.L.) he was constantly yapping about "I don't feel your performance," etc. I was like - PUH-LEAZE! Do you feel my contempt and disapproval for your existence on that stage? Go home Gilby! You don't belong!!!! And then one day, his luscious black hair and semi-below average level of English totally made me a believer. Gilby Clark is now so hot!

Tommy Lee is the most comment-challenged of them all. He says things like:
**"You're a little ho-hum. I like the ho...just bring more hum." What? That makes absolutely no sense. If he brought more hum, then he would be even MORE ho-hum.

**"When I think of Mick Jagger, I think of him being a show boat. So show us your boat." Ooooookkaaayyy Tommy. I think we may have a bit of a cliche problem.

So anyway, I can go on and on...and maybe I will. Maybe I will do a recap for you lucky, lucky people!! Next week perhaps.


Honey Gangsta said...

Oh my gosh! That picture of Dave Navarro looks like the head of Satan placed on the body of a 10-year-old child. Creepy!

Honey Gangsta said...

Remember "Till Death Do Us Part" that lovely little show about Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro planning their wedding? Death must have arrived early (possibly in the form of Dave himself after looking at that picture) because they are Dunzo! Aw. And they went to all that trouble posing for their engagement pictures in a morgue. Perhaps Dave's divorced ass can get with Brooke Burke's divorced ass?

Honey Gangsta said...
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NoiXdeCoco said...
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