Project "Scandal"Way

Despite All The Drama, I Missed These Guys...OK, Just Michael Kors

Ah Yes, That's Better

Upon Closer Inspection, Looks Like Kors and I See Eye-to-Eye

We start part 1 of the season finale with Heidi and her velvet bag. She congratulates them on being the final four this year. I knew it! I knew it was set up – I still stand by my opinion that the last challenge was a wash – there’s no way they would have decided on four when three dresses were bad. That was a decision that was already made before any dresses came down the runway.

The designer’s final challenge: to design 12 looks. They each get $8K and 2 months to do this. Heidi announces a special guest - of course, it's Tim Gunn. He reinforces to the designers how important this challenge is. And Heidi chimes in: "Do not play it safe. Amaze us." Laura confessionals that she's produced a whole line of kids, why can't she produce a line of clothes? Enough with the children analogies!!

"What The Crap Is In Her Velvet Bag??"

We are now one month later in Atlanta, Georgia, where Tim Gunn is checking in on The Knight Rider. Michael Knight is wearing a very bright orange polo shirt, and braces. Tim, being the ever gracious guest, and human, compliments his house profusely.

Tim asks how far along he is...not too far. His collection is called ‘Street Safari.’ Tim likes his details and thinks it's a great beginning. The problem with The Knight Rider is that his collection is not cohesive. Tim's big advice is to just do it, and to make it work. I wish I had some sort of catch phrase that would be applicable in every situation – like “side out” or “rear wheel carrier.” I don’t know. I’m just sayin’.

Tim gets taken to the family house to have dinner with the Knight Rider’s family where we see photos of the KR with afros and Gumby hair. Ah, the 90s were a bit cruel for some. A group prayer ensues. This is just like when the Bachelor goes on hometown dates.

Next up is Laura in New York City. We find out that Laura is having another boy, a fifth boy. Tim is really surprised how much she's done with her 12 looks. Her collection is evening wear (shock!). Her problem, once again, is that her dresses are not that youthful. Listening to Laura talk about how much she wants to win the competition, it's quite apparent that she's “A” type personality. In come her four boys with turtle poop. Tim is real awkward in this situation...definitely not meant to be the owner of a gang of little boys. Next comes her husband who looks like an old Albert Einstein - and my first thought was: This guy knocked her up? Five times?? I'm shocked. This time for real, not like the shocked I was at her evening wear.

Guess Which is The Genious and Which is Laura's Hubby

Off to Miami to check in on Uli. As usual, she is in a cute little pair of shorts and tank top. She's so youthful and her attitude and energy are youthful too. Her theme is “Tropical Safari.” Tim says her looks are beautiful, but is afraid of being a one note. They take a walk on the beach and sit on a table and discuss how Uli grew up in East Germany and how Miami is so different. Not surprisingly, to me at least, she was drawn to Miami by none other than Miami Vice, or as the Spaniards call it - Corrupcion en Miami.

"Ricardo Tubbs Ultimately Was My Motivation for Moving to Miami"

Tim is driving a sporty little red shiny sports car, and of course, we are in Los Angeles to visit Jeffrey. We meet Jeffrey's best design - his son. Jeffrey is so sick. He is just gross and his attitude is appalling. He says that all his success in his life comes from being sober. That's great, really. He then tells a story about how he went to hang himself and was saved, that's when he sobered up. Jeffrey is a big fan of the skinny jeans, and the rat tail. I am not. I think they’re very unflattering. But I guess it's better than being strung out. Jeffrey turns out to have a gigantic warehouse as his workspace. Jeffrey's inspiration for his line are Japanese ghost stories. Tim seems to like his stuff best. He's very impressed.

5 days ‘till the runway show, and the designers arrive in New York. The Knight Rider loves his collection so much that he's driven to call it NASTY. Laura wants to win, if for no other reason just so that Jeffrey doesn't win...ha ha ha. You go girl! Uli is greeted warmly by Laura and KR who are already rolling around the beds of the hotel. Sometimes it seems like these people have never stayed in a hotel before – and by these people I mean reality show participants. Jeffrey is wearing shorts and leggings together? I can't tell, but it's gross.

Uli's first question to Jeffrey is if people are throwing eggs at him, since he is such a crazy mean person. Laura didn't even get up to hug him. He's that repulsive.

Uli's Interpretation of Jeffrey's Last 2 Months

The first full work day is sponsored by Macy's! Just so you know. Jeffrey has a swim suit as part of his collection...so weird. Tim checks in with all of them individually once again. Jeffrey's stuff is stunning to Tim. Uli's stuff is getting some weird looks from Tim; he's worried about how they will look on models. Laura's detailing is incredible, and Tim gives his thumbs up to the 12 piece collection. The Knight Rider had the most troubling pieces. Poor Tim was freaking out on the inside, and trying to be gracious with his comments. And guess what - IT'S MAKE IT WORK TIME! Tim collects receipts and Jeffrey was acting very weird while trying to compile his...hmmm…is this foreshadowing?

During model casting we see a whole lotta skinny gals walking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...I'm getting dizzy. After they chose models, which seemed to have a very low drama content, they went to the Trésemé Hair Salon to discuss looks. Jeffrey is opting for wigs..ha ha ha, they look ridiculous.

"These Wigs Look AWESOME!"

3 days until runway show...Laura confessionals that she finds it almost impossible that Jeffrey has had the time to finish all of his outfits. Duhn duhn duhn! DRAMA.

Back from commercial, and its super-fantastic-make-up time!!!!!! They all want a strong eye. Hmph, that was boring. We're back to suspicious Laura, who declares that she doesn't believe that Jeffrey actually sewed his own clothes! Yikes, that is some serious accusation. She said that you don’t pull craftsmanship like that out of your ass - well put! Laura has now pulled in the other two designers into her conspiracy theory. Tim walks in, followed by Jeffrey. Uli is yapping, but the attention is on the tension in the room. My heart is beating. Will Laura just blurt out that Jeffrey is a cheater??? I’m seriously at the edge of my seat. Ok, Laura wants to talk to Tim alone, phew...I thought there would be a huge blow out. She lays it all out on the line, and tells Tim all of her suspicions. The crazy music and clips of Jeffrey getting too close to the window is creating this intense suspense, I can barely take it. This is the best Project Runway EVER!! Oh good, it's commercial time...I'm almost hyperventilating from suspense.

Uli announces to the designers that Laura has an announcement - and Laura lays it all out - she told Tim on him!!! Holy shit, you should have seen his face.

Suprisingly, Jeffrey’s reaction was so weird, very calm. Well, at first. And then the Knight Rider actually backed up Laura. For the first time, it looks like Jeffrey is on the receiving end of evilness. Doesn’t feel good, does it jack ass?

The next morning we get a shot of Jeffrey shirtless, AGAIN. I'm starting a new campaign - No more shirtless Jeffrey shots. NO MORE. Even Laura comments that Jeffrey’s reaction was not what she expected.

Tim has a little talk with Jeffrey, in front of everybody!! Tim tells Jeffrey that there will be an investigation about his work…yikes. This is so good, everyone’s backstabbing and freaking out. Duhn duhn duhn!!!!!!!! And part 1 is over…

My $$ is on Uli to Win...

In the previews for part 2 of the finale, they show Jeffrey about to pass out when Tim announces his verdict. Tim even says the word “unfortunately” so it leaves me with no other choice that to think that nothing will happen. I’m not fooled!

What do you think? Did Jeffrey cheat? Is Laura evil for instigating an investigation? Is Uli going to name her first born Heidi?

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