The Apprentice Goes Cliche - As Expected!

We Must be in LA - Cause We're Wearing Sunglasses!!! He he he he

Nice opening to the Apprentice - Los Angeles - some fake call on a fake phone in a fake limo with a green screen. And best of all, the rehearsed Melanoma and a sound byte of a baby crying (BTW - doesn't "Barron" mean not able to have children?) This is going to be good!

Then we get to The Donald sitting in convertible explaining how things will play out this season - why is he always yelling? He's barking at me from his fake car with a green screen, this is horribly going to be good!

He drives up to the mansion and we get a visual of Melanoma - what the crap is in her hair? Some ridiculous pink expensive looking do-rag - good one Baroness! Next we meet all the candidates when The Donald asks them to "give [him] a little identification" ha ha ha. Nicely put. I quite fancied the understated way he let us know that we don't really care about your "identification" when they would fade in and out of everyone's list of qualification. Hilarious. It played out like someone was talking for an hour...then 3 hours later, we check in and they're still going. I found this very funny.

5 Points to Who Can Tell Who is Who - Heidi (LA), Sandra (Celeb), or Rebecca (Season 4)

They're first task was to establish a 3rd world environment by setting up tents in the backyard. Imagine a bunch of A-types trying to not get the tent up, but looking like they're the ones in charge - what a nightmare. These types of people are insane, I wonder why I get such a kick watching them? The Donald, after hearing Frank being loud...errr, I mean taking charge (same diff), yelled out of his window urging Frank to "keep your voice down." That was pretty awesome - made me laugh out loud.

After the 3rd world area of the mansion was set up, they were off to their first task - operating a car wash. You see - when The Donald thinks of Los Angeles - he thinks of cars (naturally) and about movies and sex. Or was it sex in movies? (Porn) Or sex in cars at the movies? Or cars in movies while having sex? So many possibilities and infinite Donald wisdom.

While they were trying to figure out what the hell was going on, you can see the Mexicans in the background observing the suits and their ridiculousness. It was precious. One of the team members said that since they're in West Hollywood, that it was a "homosexual area" which is true, but it was funny.

Then Ivanka showed up. Is it me, or is her body disproportional too big for her head? Or is her head disproportionately too small for her body? I have a feeling this will be a quiet debate in my head for the entire season. Before watching this episode, I was disagreeing with HG about her qualifications to be Trump's assistant - I mean, she should know what it is her father is looking for, no? And she did go to the #2 business school in all of the United States. But then, she showed up with her weird head and said things like - "Where is so and so? Is that a good thing that he's not here or a bad thing?" Uh, what? "What do YOU think about the team leader not being here?" Hey Ivanka - What do YOU think you are doing?

Heidi's (ha ha) team won, and Frank's team lost. I knew right away that it was Martin who will be kicked off, because he was wearing a pin striped suit, a red picnic pattern shirt and a polka dot tie - ALL AT ONCE! That is reason enough!

It Was the Shirt That Sealed His Destiny

I think the packing up your belongings and dragging it in a suitcase to every boardroom is a bit dramatic - they can stop doing that now.

One last note - Heidi (ha ha) and Tim (so hot!) I believe will have a love connection - be a match if you will...let's see.

One final, final note - I found this blip about the winner of Apprentice two (anyone remember this guy? Cause apparently, he's a celebrity):

Besides his many business ventures, Kelly also donates his time as a celebrity spokesperson for both Big Brothers/Sisters

Ummm...ok.